Letter of rejection, tube of humour

Upon entering the Otago Daily Times editorial suite, I was greeted first by a tube of toothpaste.
Upon entering the Otago Daily Times editorial suite, I was greeted first by a tube of toothpaste.
I went into the office on Monday having already been sent a letter of rejection by the recruitment firm that is seeking a new chief executive to run Forsyth Barr Stadium. That was quick! I had only sent in my application a few days earlier.

Upon entering the Otago Daily Times editorial suite, I was greeted first by a tube of toothpaste.

It was sitting in the middle of the corridor, opposite the editor's door and below a wall of monochrome photographs of editors past, going right back to 1861 and our founding father Sir Julius Vogel.

It was Sensodyne in green, the tube slightly bent, having been used. It had no apparent owner or origin. There it lay, at the feet of the editors, at the foot of tradition and gravity.

It meant a swoop from seriousness to comic absurdity: a definition of bathos. And it was comforting as a home, refreshing as toothpaste should be.

My sore sense of woe at having been denied chiefdom, on grounds not at all clear to me, was brushed away like a day's plaque and replaced with a newly minted delight in life.

The first person I spoke to was deputy editor Barry.

Barry: So did you get the job?

Me: No, can you believe it. I was really disappointed.

Barry: Anna.

Me: No, seriously. I had already started thinking of great ideas to fill the stadium. Get this, gigantic-screen karaoke. Huh? Huh? Gigantic. Screen. Karaoke. Who doesn't want to sing in front of 30,000 people? Who wouldn't buy a ticket to see that? It'd be inexpensive to run. And you could have a website where people enter a ballot system to be selected to sing the karaoke songs.

Barry: So did they already tell you you didn't get the job?

Me: Yep.

Barry: Did they really?

Me: Got an email from them first thing this morning.

Barry: That was quick! What'd they say?

Me: "We have read your application and CV and appreciate the time you have taken putting these together. However on this occasion we regret to inform you that your application has not progressed to the next stage in the recruitment process."

Barry: A form letter then?

Me: Yep. Hey, do you know what I found when I got in today?

Barry: No, what?

Me: A tube of toothpaste. Right in the middle of the corridor there beneath the editors.

Barry: Did you really?

Me: Yep. Pretty funny eh.

Barry: Yeah that's pretty funny.

Thus would go most conversations I had at work on Monday. It was not a bad night at the dear old Oddity, not a bad night at all.

MacArthur Park

Wait, maybe you're on to something A Beck. Never mind karaoke. A MacArthur Park marathon singalong might be just what is needed: one gigantic communal absurdist lament...

The stadium is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing dowwwwn
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe agaiiiin


Ohhh nooooooooo! 

Wide angle zoom to her in corporate

Giant screens, Anna? Just embarrassing for innocent spectators posted on stadia Imax, alongside happy birthdays and 'howdies'. And would the punters sit through 8min Karaoke 'MacArthur Park'?