Oddity workers on the Fringe

The programme of this year's Dunedin Fringe Festival, which starts next Thursday, has been printed "in association with the Otago Daily Times". The company will have stumped up either money or ink for such a credit, but it has also, and probably unwittingly, stumped up some very talented artistes.

Several workers from the editorial floor alone are involved in Fringe events, and it is causing us to do strange things in preparation. Which is good fun.

One of our features writers today advised he had been rehearsing bashing one of his close friends with a baseball bat, for the play they are in together. The close friend happens to be one of our subeditors.

"He sounded grumpy about it the other day," I said of the bashing victim.

"He's playing a very grumpy man," said the features writer.

We concluded the grumpy subeditor must have been in character when I spoke to him the other day.

Me, I have spent much of my spare time this week practising to stand on one leg, in mauve-coloured high heels, in dim light.

The director has indicated this feat may or may not be necessary for the production in which I will appear for a total of 15 seconds, but since it may be necessary, I am bound to practise it.

I started off easy, by balancing on one leg barefoot. Or, when out in public, by balancing on one shod leg, while waiting at pedestrian crossings and standing in queues.

It may have looked eccentric but everything is relative: in seagulls, standing on one leg is a sign of great contentment.

At home I tried balancing on one leg barefoot on a bag of flour. That threatened to bust the bag and create a heavenly but unwelcome flour cloud.

Then I started to practise with the mauve-coloured heels. These, like so many costume pieces that appear in fringe festivals, were plucked for $5 from op-shop obscurity. What a great run Dunedin's op shops must be having as our local festival looms.

Last night, I achieved 15 seconds on one foot in the heels, but that was in a well-lit room. As soon as you reduce or eliminate light, I am finding, you have to start from scratch with this balancing business. Still, I'll get there by next week.

If you're reading this and you, too, have been performing strange acts in the name of Fringe, then I wish you well, comrade.

Fringe - Steve Wriggly

Steve Wriggly, you were my first (comedian). Was a great show, even when I inadvertanly got your attention (jazz hands lady) lol! Even has me laughing still today. Pity I don't have the bucks to see the others as well. Cheers for a good night :)