The programme of this year's Dunedin Fringe Festival, which
starts next Thursday, has been printed "in association with
the Otago Daily Times". The company will have stumped
up either money or ink for such a credit, but it has also,
and probably unwittingly, stumped up some very talented
artistes.
Several workers from the editorial floor alone are involved
in Fringe events, and it is causing us to do strange things
in preparation. Which is good fun.
One of our features writers today advised he had been
rehearsing bashing one of his close friends with a baseball
bat, for the play they are in together. The close friend
happens to be one of our subeditors.
"He sounded grumpy about it the other day," I said of the
bashing victim.
"He's playing a very grumpy man," said the features writer.
We concluded the grumpy subeditor must have been in character
when I spoke to him the other day.
Me, I have spent much of my spare time this week practising
to stand on one leg, in mauve-coloured high heels, in dim
light.
The director has indicated this feat may or may not be
necessary for the production in which I will appear for a
total of 15 seconds, but since it may be necessary, I am
bound to practise it.
I started off easy, by balancing on one leg barefoot. Or,
when out in public, by balancing on one shod leg, while
waiting at pedestrian crossings and standing in queues.
It may have looked eccentric but everything is relative: in
seagulls, standing on one leg is a sign of great contentment.
At home I tried balancing on one leg barefoot on a bag of
flour. That threatened to bust the bag and create a heavenly
but unwelcome flour cloud.
Then I started to practise with the mauve-coloured heels.
These, like so many costume pieces that appear in fringe
festivals, were plucked for $5 from op-shop obscurity. What a
great run Dunedin's op shops must be having as our local
festival looms.
Last night, I achieved 15 seconds on one foot in the heels,
but that was in a well-lit room. As soon as you reduce or
eliminate light, I am finding, you have to start from scratch
with this balancing business. Still, I'll get there by next
week.
If you're reading this and you, too, have been performing
strange acts in the name of Fringe, then I wish you well,
comrade.
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