Elspeth McLean reviews Mothers Raising
Sons.
MOTHERS RAISING SONS
Nigel Latta
Harper Collins, $29.99, pbk
"Your poor mother," is a common reaction my offspring
encounter when new acquaintances find out I have four sons
and no daughters.
"No, don't feel sorry for her. She loves having sons," they
respond.
They're right. I do.
Hopefully, after reading Dunedin clinical psychologist Nigel
Latta's latest book on child-rearing, Mothers Raising
Sons, some other mothers might find increased enjoyment
and enthusiasm for raising boys.
He says he wrote the book because he wanted mums to know they
aren't bad for boys, to allow them to make more informed
judgements about what matters for their sons, and to increase
their awareness about the politics behind parenting advice.
(It is hard not to shout hallelujah about all that.)
Latta has a look at research behind some of the issues which
might worry mothers, including whether there is a crisis in
boys' education.
He points out that if there is any picture emerging it is
that some boys rather than all boys are in trouble.
He argues that it is attending good schools with good
teachers that is important, not whether they are single sex
or co-educational.
Refreshingly, particularly for those raising sons alone who
might be worrying about whether there are good male role
models for them, Latta says what boys need is good role
models and it doesn't much matter what sex they are.
The essentials of being a good man, Latta says, are the core
values of responsibility, humbleness and compassion.
Latta's side-chat can be irritating when you want him to cut
to the chase, but if you stick with him you will find much
that is worthwhile, including an excellent section on crime.
He points out that most teenagers fall into the idiot
category rather than that of the persistent offender.
Examples showing where parents went wrong when dealing with
their son's skirmishes with crime do not pull any punches.
- Elspeth McLean is the mother of four adult sons. Widowed
in 1998 when her eldest son was 15, she has been a single
parent since.
Bookmark/Search this post with:
A name, residential address, and (preferably residential) telephone number is required from readers who comment on ODT Online. These details will not be visible to site visitors.