FILM REVIEW: 'The Human Centipede (First Sequence)'

Scene from 'The Human Centipede'

> The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
3 stars (out of 5)

Director: Tom Six
Cast: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura.
Rating: (R18)

The documentary in which Dutch director Tom Six convinces investors to back a film that involves surgically joining humans into a macabre centipede doesn't exist; but that would be a lot more fascinating than The Human Centipede.

Contrary to the shock value of the film synopsis, The Human Centipede isn't that hard to watch, it just doesn't seem to know what it is.

As a schlock horror flick, the cheesy set-up in which two naïve American hotties take refuge in a mad doctor's house, is brilliant in its absurd homage to genre conventions.

If things were kept this tongue-in-cheek, The Human Centipede might have been a different proposition.

After drugging his guests, the sinister surgeon wakes his "patients" in an underground theatre where he reveals the true horror of his depravity.

Using an amusingly primitive sketch, he explains the surgery that will link the intestinal tracts of his captives.

The film is astonishing in its attention to medical detail and feels pretty darn convincing.

Six's coup was casting Dieter Laser as Dr Joseph Heiter. As the reclusive specialist, Laser is the only reason to invest any time in The Human Centipede.

He stalks every frame with sinewy malevolence.

One aspect that sets The Human Centipede apart from other horror flicks is the lack of visceral close-ups.

Most of the agonising moments happen just off-screen in your imagination.

Fans of David Cronenberg will note visual references, but unlike Cronenberg, Six doesn't have a plot that develops any social conscience, empathy or pay-off.

Best thing: Dieter Laser - creepy, camp and wickedly unhinged.

Worst thing: Having to imagine what it would be like to be the middle person

See it with: Anyone not contemplating an O. E.

- Mark Orton