These are the things that - until recently - I knew about Proms: Proms are something to do with music, probably classical, and they are held in concert halls.
In Dunedin, they are called Last Night at the Proms, and have, or have had, something to do with former Mayor Peter Chin.
Also, they began in England, a foreign country where the language we speak is also spoken, but in a variety of strange accents.
The sort of strange accents you get when you are a lazy speaker.
Like Received English.
Lazy.
You will hear some of these accents on UKTV, a television station on Sky TV that has only English programmes.
Because of its Englishness, it features, next month, the BBC Proms Season of 2011.
These are the things I have found out recently about Proms.
Proms, or Promenade concerts, have existed in London since the mid-19th century.
In 1895, an English fellow called Robert Newman arranged the first series of indoor promenade concerts. His idea was to encourage an audience for concert hall music that would be attracted by low ticket prices and an informal atmosphere, where they could promenade (apparently some sort of ambling, or walking), eat, drink and smoke masses of cigarettes without feeling guilty because it was too early to know about cancer or the possibility of giving other people cancer by smoking in their general environment and nobody really cared about anything much at all, really. Coff.
Last year, the very first Comedy Prom was introduced.
It was held at the Royal Albert Hall, and curated by Tim Minchin, a British-Australian comedian and musician I have never heard of.
Tim has long hair, is portly, and wears eye make-up.
Early highlights include English comedian and conductor Sue Perkins (whom I have never heard of) singing a word that rhymes with heinous but starts with a "p".
Minchin manages to rhyme the word 'Bach' with a word similar to "fark". After that it appears to go downhill, and I became bored after 15 minutes.
There is a different sort of Prom every Saturday on UKTV from September 8, for who knows how long.
Enjoy, prommies.
There is nothing else on television, unfortunately, so why not watch the whole series of Forbrydelsen?
The Danish police series is up to about episode three on SoHo, and is an absolute must.
Detective Sarah Lund's investigation into the murder of teenager Nanna Birk Larsen is deeply, deeply troubling and vigorously fabulous in the way only Danish police series can be.
Stop watching TV, and watch Forbrydelsen on DVD or something.
You will be much happier than you are now.
Merry Christmas.
- Charle Loughrey.
