Sometimes - usually, in fact - it is important to apportion
Most decent people spend a lifetime on this enjoyable hobby
for the leisure classes.
Mothers are usually at the top of the heap in the blame game,
but local authorities, governments and foreigners can be
called in if necessary.
But who is to blame for Camelot?
Hippies. People who are obsessed with The Lord of the
Rings. And people who are obsessed with Dungeons and
Dragons. All of these are to blame for this fleshy
fantasy from production house Starz.
They are also possibly to blame for Game of Thrones,
the extremely naughty medieval fleshy fantasy previewed
recently in this column.
I let that one pass without apportioning blame, but if this
is to be some sort of medieval flesh, blood and incest-fest,
it is time to start pointing the finger.
Firstly, know this; Camelot is a timeless and powerful
tale (promotional blurb promises) of the legendary King
Arthur and a stunning cast of people paid to act in
Episode one - beginning October 4 on Prime - begins with King
Uther's daughter Morgan coming home after 15 years or so
growing up in a nunnery.
She is angry, vengeful and clearly well versed in the arts of
murder, seduction and rampant, unchecked sexuality.
Hmmmmmm ... I wonder what religious denomination that nunnery
was associated with?
She promptly poisons King Uther, exiles her stepmother and
seduces her father's arch-rival.
Morgan is played by Eva Green, named by Entertainment
Weekly as the fourth-best Bond Girl (Vesper Lynd in
Meanwhile, Uther's other son, Arthur, is a blond young
lothario, whom we meet ploughing the fields of young
womanhood nudely in the forest.
The young and curious should best look away at this point,
despite actor Jamie Campbell Bower having been in
Twilight and Harry Potter.
Arthurian sorcerer Merlin is played by Joseph Fiennes, who
has starred with the likes of Liv Tyler and Cate Blanchett.
Nice work if you can get it, but in Camelot he spends
too much time being dark and brooding, which gets lame very
To cut a long series short, Arthur must unite his kingdom
while also indulging his interest in country matters with the
But back to blame. What is behind these medieval fantasies?
The suspects are these: long hair, leather vests, head bands,
superstition, ignorance, and a desperate desire to return to
the Dark Ages.
The culprits are hippies and The Lord of the Rings
Put the two together and you have Camelot.
Someone must stop them.
- Charles Loughrey.