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A 2009 AP file photo of talk show host David Letterman.
David Letterman, after a week off, dived right into
material about Tiger Woods on the
Late Show, joking
that he wishes the golfer would stop calling him to ask for
advice.
Even though the CBS late-night host is only weeks removed
from his own scandal, he kicked off his monologue with the
subject of Woods, who has been hounded by claims from several
women that they had affairs with him.
"Boy, it looks like that Tiger Woods is having some trouble,
huh?" began Letterman, puffing his cheeks out.
He joked that if Woods' situation had happened three months
ago, he'd "have material for a year." He still got plenty of
mileage out of it on Monday, on his first new show after a
week of repeats.
"President Obama is sending troops to Afghanistan," Letterman
said. "Hell, he ought to be sending them to Tiger Woods'
house."
Woods, the world's No. 1 golfer, crashed his luxury SUV
outside his Florida mansion on Thanksgiving weekend, and his
wife told police she used a golf club to smash its back
windows to help him out. The Florida Highway Patrol cited
Woods for careless driving and fined him $164.
The accident and Woods' refusal to answer questions about it
fueled speculation about a possible dispute between the
golfer and his wife.
Just days before the crash, a National Enquirer
story alleged Woods had been seeing a New York nightclub
hostess, who denied it. After the crash, Us Weekly
reported that a Los Angeles cocktail waitress claims she had
an affair with Woods.
Last week, Woods issued a statement saying he had let his
family down with unspecified "transgressions" that he regrets
with "all of my heart."
In October, Letterman admitted to workplace affairs that
police say led to a blackmail plot. CBS News producer Robert
J. "Joe" Halderman has pleaded not guilty to trying to extort
$2 million from Letterman to keep some of the comedian's
sexual affairs quiet.
Letterman later returned Monday to what he called "the Tiger
Woods debacle." He tried to poll the audience members on
their support, apparently thinking more would support Woods
(whom he called "the greatest athlete in the world") than
would support him.
He asked them to clap if they thought Woods was a "jerk." He
then, referring to his "own personal problems," asked them to
clap if they thought he was a jerk. Some clapped for each.
Letterman also presented a Top 10 list on how Woods might
improve his image, with Tom Hanks making a cameo to react to
each entry. No. 1 was "Blame Letterman."
Regular viewers of the "Late Show" might not be surprised
Letterman would joke about Woods. He has frequently referred
to his scandal since it erupted in October. Before that, he
often joked about others caught in infidelities, including
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, former Florida Rep. Mark
Foley and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer.