A year of television is a thing of beauty. The year 2009 again took the joy of that most excellent medium to new heights, and before 2010 tops it, let's look back in gratitude at what we have been offered.
So good has much of this fare been, there has been no reason, ever, to go outside, communicate with others or feel even a little bit lonely.
And, clearly, programme-makers have done their bit to make the world a better place, with their commitment to sending messages of love, hope and charity direct from their shows.
Admittedly, to find the level of altruism inherent, one must search deep within their motives, but with the correct analysis one sees a philanthropic hand waving from the director's chair.
Rock of Love, an American reality television dating game show, featured Bret Michaels, the lead singer from the band Poison.
Poison was a band so awful, I would prefer, if given the choice, to have both my knees crushed by a pneumatic pile-driver than listen to their music.
In the series, a bevy of busty women vied for the heart of a man whom most people would opt, if given the choice, to have their legs sawn off with a poorly made $10 handsaw rather than spend an evening with.
Bret spent plenty of time pashing them off before kicking them off, and the level of creepiness and humiliation for the contestants pushed through all known human boundaries.
Only one analysis makes any sense with Rock of Love, and that is that it was a timely warning about reality shows, and the importance of keeping away both from watching them, and participating in them.
Thank you, producers.
But let's not be negative about television, because I love it.
Test cricket arrived in the last few months of the year, and was a joy.
What many do not understand about cricket is its worth as a meditative device.
The sport has not been taken up with so much gusto in India by chance.
Test cricket (Sky Sport 1, 2, 3, the Highlights Channel and Prime) is a chance to clear one's head so completely; spiritual enlightenment becomes not so much an ambition as a certainty.
But best of all about 2009 was the comedy.
Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm was, by far, the best programme of the year, and there is a new series to look forward to in 2010.
And who ever gets sick of animation?
I demand more Futurama, South Park and Family Guy, and I don't mind repeats.
My armchair is ready, my remote has new batteries and I need to be distracted.
Let's go.
