Woody's word to the wise

Film-maker Woody Allen, a man of merit in both movies and maxims, put it well in an interview on Reel Men of Hollywood recently.

Getting towards the end of what must have been a lengthy interrogation of his work, he said this: "We've talked for a while about my films.

"I don't want to fall into the category of one of those guys who talks about his films, and from his conversation, they sound great.

"But then you see the films, and, you know, there's nothing special."

Many television programmes clearly begin as great ideas before bearing bitter fruit as members of the great unwatchable.

TV2 has many of the former this year - new shows, that is - but just how many will fall into the latter category it's too early to tell.

Previewing the rather long list of these shows, it is fun to imagine them as pre-production ideas.

Imagine, for instance, a meeting with a network or production company, the executive sitting on the edge of his chair, eyebrows twitching expectantly, waiting for your pitch.

It goes (thank you TV2 preview) something like this: "An unexplained, cataclysmic event knocks out the entire population of the world at exactly same moment, and as they black out, everyone gets a glimpse into their own future.

"After two minutes and 17 seconds, the population reawakens to the chaos around them."

The executive tilts his head to one side, looks at you quizzically, and a long, long silence is about to begin when you blurt out:

"In his flash forward, Los Angeles FBI Agent Mark Benford (Joseph Fiennes) and his team struggle to work out what caused this event, the only thing they have to go on is a huge mosaic of humanity's flash forwards, as people start to ask "What did you see?"

You tell him you think FlashForward would be great on Wednesday nights at 8.30pm on TV2, and, slightly flushed and a little breathless with your success, you hit him with your next idea.

You launch into a detailed description of your idea for a show about Matthew Ridge and Marc Ellis visiting India, and learning the intricacies of the culture, including cultural dancing and dress, in a show you call Matthew and Marc's Rocky Road to Bollywood.

Perhaps on Sundays at 7pm.

You get a stony glare, and the executive begins to rise, clearly desperate for you to leave the room.

You have one more shot.

"This Is Not My Life is a brand new local mystery drama, set in the near future.

"In the idyllic, eco-friendly town of Waimoana, a man wakes to find he has a wonderful life but he can't remember any of it.

"What about vampires, dead models who turn into heaven's gate keepers, a man whose job is being a human target; what about a new series of Lost?"
Now these are ideas to look forward to.

 

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