There is a sacred bond of trust between a television columnist and his reader.
The reader, for instance, can trust the columnist never to be swayed by the sort of payola that regularly washes up, like the flotsam and jetsam of a market economy, on his desk.
A Breville Wizz Stainless Plus, for instance, minced confidently through the post to me in a lovely box this week, together with a preview of a terrific new cooking show by charismatic international chef and author Tom Kime.
It is laughable, of course, to imagine a Breville Wizz Stainless Plus would ever motivate me to stray from the sort of objective, responsible and principled journalism for which I am, quite rightly, renowned.
But, to be fair, the Breville Wizz Stainless Plus has a stylish stainless steel design, is durable, easy to clean, and looks great in the kitchen - especially my kitchen.
It would be remiss of me not to mention it creates the most fabulous icy cocktails, what with its 600W motor and its high performance stainless steel ice-crushing blades.
It purees and blends, and comes with heaps of attachments and a recipe book most excellent.
And Kime's show, Tom's Kitchen (Prime, March 27, 7pm) is the sort of refreshing, intelligent, entertaining and ultimately highly practical cooking show that, for some reason, I have suddenly started watching.
That is truly remarkable; especially considering I have absolutely no interest in cooking, and would usually rather spend the afternoon removing my fingernails with a pair of pliers than watch such a show.
Kime, from somewhere called England, comes to New Zealand for this cooking show, and says lovely things about our local produce, before doing fascinating things with flour and various other food groups.
With help from Hamish Dodd, of Yates, who has created an urban garden for fresh ingredients, Kime shares tips on how to get the best from your kitchen garden.
And is that? Could it be? Yes it is! A Breville Kitchen Wizz he is using to puree and blend his food!Now there's a coincidence.
Thank the sacred bond, readers, that this columnist has the moral fortitude not to be corrupted.
And, by the way, my address is 52 Stuart St: just write my name in big letters on the box to make sure it gets to me.
• Americans and comedy have always had a somewhat strained relationship, but when they do get it right, they get it very, very right.
Two of the best, Third Rock from the Sun and Arrested Development, have settled into high rotation on the Comedy Channel, and what a joy they are.
Both bring such comedic clarity to human foibles and pretentions they stand up to heavy repetition.
Keep it coming.
