Life Matters: How to master change (part 3)

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Claire Porima, Te Ara Pathways Coaching
Claire Porima, Te Ara Pathways Coaching
Claire Porima, an expert in coaching for success, shares some simple guidelines for Life Matters.

One of life's most important skills is getting good at change. As a Coach, my role is to help my clients master change in their lives. When we don't have the answers to what we want or how to go about doing getting what we want, the best idea is to keep asking questions instead.

So when I am coaching clients who are struggling with change, I ask them to switch on their internal navigation system to help direct them to what matters most to them.

To do this, I have clients explore some important questions, and you may want to take some quiet time out to answer these for yourself:

What is the cost to me of not making this change? Making a change can be challenging, but not making a change can keep you stuck in the problem.

What can I say ‘no' to today?

We take on many obligations, some of which are unnecessary or detrimental to our own personal growth. By saying no to something (or someone), we allow more time for ourselves to grow and do what is important for our own wellbeing.

Often making change means letting go of something we are holding on to, some kind of expectation or demand, or a story or situation.

These two questions can bring up some strong emotions about past and current reality. As you consider your answers to these questions, think about talking them through with a support person or a Coach. If you are stuck, or holding on to a past situation, discussing this with an objective, trained and non-judgmental person can help you break through barriers.

Once you have explored these two questions, ask: Is this what I really, really, REALLY want?

If the answer is ‘yes' - excellent! If it is ‘no', you can then explore other possibilities or ways of getting to your core goals.

What do I LOVE doing? If you are not in love with what you are doing, any attempts to make a change will simply not have a happy outcome. There's no point joining the golf club with your friend if you hate the sport but feel obligated. Say no (politely) and instead explore other options.

If you get stuck ask: What did I love doing as a child? What did I do before I had children? What have I read lately about someone else's achievements that really sparked my interest? Think of the exploration time as an investment in making real and sustainable changes for living a life of abundance and possibility.

Love is the key to achieving any personal or professional change.

You have the resources already and you are absolutely capable of making a change in your life that has been tucked away in the back of your mind for some time.

Be determined, be courageous and most of all, be forgiving.

If you need to define your goals or the direction you want to head in, visit my website www.TeAraPathwaysLifeCoaching.co.nz.

Aspire courageously and all the best for 2013!