The new bearer of unpleasant truths

A couple of months ago, my friend was walking down the street when a raggedly dressed man passing her stopped, circled around and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Yes?" she inquired.

"You got a big butt and an ugly face!" he said.

Message delivered, he turned and wandered off.

Unlike Raggedy Man, many of us are reluctant to offer criticism face to face.

So for those of us who don't have the "courage" to personally warn neighbours and co-workers of their flaws, there's NiceCritic.com

NiceCritic has a cache of pre-written messages that can be sent to your target with the click of a mouse.

And, good news for those who are judgemental but timid - it's anonymous.

Messages are sorted into categories such as "Personal Hygiene" and "Neighbourly Suggestion."

There's also an "Anonymous Praise" category. (The site only addresses problems with quick fixes, though - like stained pants or bad breath - so issues of butt size and attractiveness will still have to be dealt with in person.)

The messages are courteous - in the language a British butler would use, the site's founder Erik Riesenberg says - to dull the embarrassment that the recipient no doubt feels.

Such as: "Please do not remove your shoes. Your feet tend to give off an aroma."

And: "Please refrain from slapping people's buttocks."

Riesenberg, a 38-year-old from New Jersey, was inspired when a friend told him, "You could really use a trim of the nose hair".

The encounter left the woman more embarrassed than he was.

"I had this idea that there's got to be a better way to facilitate that kind of communication," Riesenberg said.

But on the Internet, any dialogue can quickly sour.

Despite Riesenberg's good intentions, what he has created is, in essence, a stockpile of politely worded insults.

One academic study has shown people correctly interpret the intended tone of an email only about 50% of the time.

Justin Kruger, a professor of marketing at New York University who co-authored the study in 2006, says NiceCritic is a bit like teasing.

"Good intentions are often much less obvious to the other person than the teaser thinks," Kruger said.

"Even well-meaning individuals can be expected to have their well-meaning attempts go awry."

Teasing can also be passive-aggressive behaviour.

The polite tone of NiceCritic "makes us feel better but doesn't exonerate negative content as much as the people on the other end think it ought to", the professor said.

Riesenberg thinks that not allowing readers to compose their own messages will prevent flaming.

"There have been other sites like this but that let you write in messages," he said.

"It usually turns into something negative; people use vulgarity or profanity."

Still, there's one thing that can be said for taking the easy way out, and that thing is: people love it.

Launched in early July, NiceCritic has drawn more than 100,000 visitors.

Riesenberg estimates that about 80% of them actually send messages.

He's not making any profit from advertisements on the site yet, but says he has been approached by a few literary agents to write a book on constructive criticism and the lure of anonymity.