A perambulation along Australia's Victorian coastline
turned out to be a feast not only for the eyes, Miranda Spary
discovered.
When I told people I was doing the Great Ocean Walk, everyone
told me to be careful of overheating and sunburn.
I'd seen the pictures of that poor burnt koala cooling off in
a basin of water during the bush fires.
Nobody suggested bringing a raincoat.
Or galoshes.
But I knew what to expect.
Silvery, dry gum trees, slithery snake trails on dusty paths,
and that terrible, burning sensation in your throat and whole
body as you gulp down huge mouthfuls of water every few
minutes.
Australia is hot all right, and I was ready for it.
An email had arrived in March telling me I was going on a
walk with nine other trampy types who call themselves the
Glampers.
I had tramped with some of them before on the Hurunui Walk in
North Canterbury, and had hoped and hoped that they might ask
me again.
So I rushed to send in my deposit in case they changed their
minds.
Melbourne is a wonderful city but don't arrive on the day
they are shooting Border Patrol at the airport.
All the staff must have been jostling to get on-camera as
they certainly weren't on duty at any of the normal customs
and immigration desks.
It seemed to take a very long time to get into town and hit
those fabulous cafes for some fine Melbourne coffee and
breakfast.
Real tramping life started very early next morning.
An outfit called Bothfeet organised everything for our
walking tour.
Their van arrived and whizzed us off out of town to the
coast.
We stopped at some tiny coastal settlements and explored the
contents of the cake shops, stocking up on supplies in case
the packed lunch we were promised proved disappointing.
We started walking from pretty Apollo Bay.
We needn't have worried about the lunchboxes.
Bothfeet has a stunning Vietnamese chef called Ha, whose life
ambition is to ensure every tramper on their walks enjoys
every eating moment.
His ambition must have been realised on our trip.
Ten women who love food and have to do most of the cooking at
home are going to be very happy with almost anything someone
else prepares.
And when that someone else is Ha, their happiness knows no
bounds.
The first day's walk is only 8km.
It sounds no distance at all, but it took us several hours.
There was so much to see, and with most of us living so far
from the ocean, watching those lacy waves crashing on rugged
Australian rocky shores was an easy way to waste a lot of
time.
We must have taken a hundred photos each of all the strange
rock formations.
All too soon we were under a cathedral roof of soaring
eucalypts and our lovely guide gave us a mini yoga session
while we waited for the van to arrive.
A slight breeze made the trees sway and creak and groan, but
it was pure lack of fitness that made our bodies do the same.
Bothfeet's ecolodge doesn't just contain Ha, the wonderchef,
but lots of other delights.
We oohed and aahed at the rooms and the enormous jacaranda
tree in full purple regalia.
The highlight was the foot spas.
Even though we had walked only a short distance that day, it
was lovely to pretend that we had earned the right to sit
like queens with our feet soaking in massive ceramic pots
full of bubbles while the lodge staff buzzed around bringing
us cups of tea and Ha cakes.
Happy, happy glampers.
It was hard to recognise those happy ladies next morning as
10 sulky, sullen, surly faces appeared at breakfast.
Torrential rain had dampened everyone's enthusiasm for a
bracing constitutional.
The only person looking cheerful was lovely Jane, who had
packed a very fetching disposable orange waterproof cape.
Her cheerfulness was not contagious.
In the van, the guides apologised that the day's walk was to
change - the mountain ash forest would be too treacherous
with all the rain, so we would be doing what sounded a lot
less interesting, but had the major upside of being a lot
shorter.
Shorter in that rain could only be a good thing.
Funnily enough, the rain stopped shortly after we set off,
but the ground was pretty boggy and we had to keep our eyes
down to watch where we stepped - which was how we managed not
to notice the koalas.
They wear cleverly designed outfits that match the gum trees
perfectly and they like to stay up high, antisocially
ignoring each other and short-sightedly destroying the trees
that feed them.
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