Mother fears son drinking to death

Photo by Dan Hutchinson
Photo by Dan Hutchinson
Alcohol is many different things to many people but for alcoholics it is a killer. For their mothers it is a nightmare. One of these women tells her story to The Star reporter DAN HUTCHINSON.

After 14 years trying to help her son overcome his drinking problem, a Dunedin woman is worried he will die and there is nothing she can do about it.''

I feel sad and I feel like I want to cry.''

To protect the privacy of Jacquie's son, The Star has decided not to use her last name, but we can tell her story.

She has watched her ''bright young man'' binge-drink his way to 28 years old and the family is still no closer to getting him free of his addiction.

It started in 2000, a year after the legal drinking age was dropped to 18 - which Jacquie is sure was a factor in her boy (then 14) getting his hands on alcohol.

She said a friend of her son used to come around on weekends and they would disappear for a few hours. She soon realised the friend was bringing a small amount of beer with him.

She laid down the law, telling her son and his friend they were not to drink, let alone bring it into the house.

Jacquie and her husband have never been big drinkers themselves, although they have nothing against it in moderation.

Within a year of their son's first foray into drinking, they had a whole lot of reasons to be wary of alcohol.''

My son was coming home absolutely plastered ... the cops were bringing him home,'' Jacquie said.

They tried following him to see where he was getting the alcohol from but they never did discover the source.

By the time he was 15, the counselling sessions and early intervention programmes had started but it was too late.''

All these things have done absolutely nothing for him because [he] loves to drink.''

For 14 years we have had our son to counsellors, drug-alcohol experts - you name it, we have done it.''

Our family has watched our bright young man literally destroy himself and our family.''

She was scornful of the Government's attempts to tackle the alcohol problem in New Zealand and said it was ''shameful'' companies were allowed to sell high-alcohol beers and ready-to-drink spirit mixes.

''It is getting to that point where I am going to lose my son - I know in here [points to her heart] ... and I don't know what other doors to bang on.''

Her son and his partner now had a 5-year-old boy which was a ''worry'' for Jacquie, because he was watching and learning from his father.

She had pleaded with her son again last week to get help or move out of his home.

''I am going to put you in a room and you can drink yourself to death because there is not a damned thing I can do about it.''

She said many people blamed the parents of teen drinkers but she knew how other people in her situation felt and many of them were ''great parents''.

''You can't blame the parent when it is sitting on the shelf in the supermarket.

''I blame the company that is making the alcohol content so high it is killing our people.''

She said the country often talked about cleaning up the ''booze culture'' but the only changes she had seen were a lowered drinking age, alcohol sales allowed in supermarkets, more liquor stores and longer opening hours.

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