Outram widow Jenni Edmonds joins the debate on euthanasia by sharing her recent experiences looking after her terminally ill husband.
In an article in the ODT (25.8.12), Dr Louise Bremer, Otago Community Hospice palliative care registrar, was quoted as saying the period just before death could be "uplifting" and an "opportunity for grace", giving people an opportunity to resolve issues and say goodbye.
I wish to take exception to the comment that the period before death can be uplifting. I have just lost my loved husband to leukaemia and, yes, the week before his death certainly was good to make sure nothing was left unsaid that should have been said, but the last 18 hours of his life were the most appalling and undignified thing I have ever witnessed.
His condition deteriorated so quickly that he never got to hospice and I cannot thank the staff of ward 8C enough for the considerate and diligent care that they gave him; that is not the point that I am trying to make.
However, I think there is nothing whatsoever uplifting about having so much trouble breathing you could be heard at the nurses' station, or the fact that at least half the time by the time you had asked the person at your bedside for a urination bottle you had wet yourself because your brain wasn't in sync with your body, never mind the last few hours when he was not able to ask and just showed visible signs of distress and tried to gesture in the appropriate direction.
His pain was apparently well controlled, but he was still needing top-ups very regularly and the prelude to these was not pleasant for him. I was able to get the nurses to come and give him more pain relief as soon as I noticed he needed it and they were very prompt, but there still must have been a build-up of at least discomfort for him each time this occurred.
I challenge anyone to call a death like that dignified or uplifting, never mind graceful.
I come from a veterinary background where we have the privilege of euthanasing our patients when they are suffering incurable conditions or are in pain that will only get worse or have quality of life that is deemed to be unacceptable (such as any or all of: inability to move normally, not wanting to eat, not showing normal responses, no longer able to toilet themselves or to clean themselves up etc). My patients die peacefully and in a dignified fashion usually with their loved people and always with sympathy.
I truly wish that I did not have my husband's last hours etched on my brain, but I know that he and I are some of the lucky ones as he was only in this state for a few hours and some people go through this for days or even weeks. I could only wish that my husband had been able to be given the dignity in his last hours that I am able to provide to my patients on a routine basis.
