Hayden Meikle: The season so far

Call it a mid-season review, a Christmas-break wrap-up or an end-of-year retrospective. Call it what you like. I hate football now and I'm going on holiday next week and I don't care.

Here are a few facts, reflections and predictions - a First XI - to keep Premier League fans interested while the Kop That blog is on leave:

1. Forgotten fact No 1
There were no draws on August 15, the opening day of the 2009-10 season. Not one flippin' draw! That had never happened before in the Premier League.

2. Forgotten fact No 2
The first scorer of the new season was Stephen Hunt, on debut for Hull. Against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea won 2-1.

3. Three results that shocked the system
The season was barely a week old when tiny Burnley, playing with the big boys for the first time since 1976, stunned Manchester United 1-0 at the delightfully named Turf Moor.

It was an "acute embarrassment" and Man United were "shockingly poor'', according to the match report in the Guardian. Just last week, bottom-of-the-table Portsmouth put the boot into slumping Liverpool with a 2-0 win at Fratton Park.

But I think the biggest shock of the season may have
been Wigan's 3-1 pumping of Chelsea late in September, which was a first loss for the Blues.

4. That f---ing beach ball
Oh . . . my . . . God. Or, as the young punk who was responsible for the most bizarre goal of the season would text his pimply mates, OMG.
Sunderland beat Liverpool 1-0 on October 17 thanks to the influence of a beach ball and a brain-dead Liverpool fan.

Striker Darren Bent, having a fine season since transferring from Spurs, cracked in a shot that was going straight into Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina's arms.

That's when fate, in the form of 16-year-old dunce Callum Campbell, intervened. Campbell had punched a beach ball on to the pitch. it bounced beautifully in front of Bent, deflecting his shot past Reina and into the Liverpool net.

Never mind. The referee, Mick Jones, was on hand. Surely he would disallow the goal for outside interference. Of course not. It's been that sort of season for Liverpool.

5. Nine? Nine???
That was everybody's reaction upon hearing the bizarre scoreline in the game between Spurs and Wigan at White Hart Lane on November 21.
Tottenham 9, Wigan 1.That's Tottenham 9, Wigan 1.