From afar: Behavioural lapses belong in 'otherwise' zone

It has been difficult lately to look away when high-profile athletes have failed to engage their frontal lobe and practise self-control and good judgement.

Aaron Smith's naked selfie and extra-curricular activities have gone viral and the week-long train-wreck that was Oscar Pistorius in the witness box during his trial has finally come to an end.

My eyes, ears and heart can rest.

Voyeurism is the practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviours of a private nature. It is an intrusion of privacy to follow these stories and yet I struggle to divert my attention.

Why is it so difficult to avoid the voyeuristic way their private lives and weak moments are presented for us to consume? Just because it happened doesn't mean we have to see it, watch it, or dissect every morsel presented.

Of course there is a huge and significant difference between taking a selfie and killing a person, but in both cases the individuals concerned failed to think about all the possible consequences of their behaviour and are now paying the price.

Nugget (Smith) isn't the first high profile athlete to partake in this sort of activity (think Tiger Woods and Shane Warne), but it isn't often that the evidence is there for everyone to see.

Enough about Nugget. He's learnt a lesson, and will no doubt lie low for a while with the smartphone well out of reach.

As for Pistorius, there is much more at stake for this man. Proving he is guilty of murdering Reeva Steenkamp is the job of the prosecution team in South Africa, but ethically it is the fact that he admits killing his girlfriend behind a closed toilet door that really matters.

Whether he did that intentionally or not, seems irrelevant to her family and loved ones - but I suppose it will impact on Pistorius' life and mental state significantly.

Having visited South Africa a few times I was struck by the number of people telling stories about someone they knew who'd been attacked, carjacked, kidnapped, raped and/or murdered.

The stories were always horrific and tragic and the fear in the storyteller's voice palpable.

It was like a horror story everyone played a part in, and people did all they could not to play the victim.

That meant having vicious dogs in their backyards, a collection of guns, barbed wire fences to keep out intruders, gated communities, and an attitude that was a volatile mix of fear and aggression ready to kick in when threatened.

What Pistorius did was tragic, and everyone involved has suffered.

The prosecution, however, must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he intended to kill her (Steenkamp) and it isn't clear whether they've done this yet.

What does seem clear is that Pistorius intended to kill whoever was on the other side of that door, and if we believe his story that person was a vicious and threatening intruder.

If only he'd gathered his thoughts in those seconds before. If only he'd taken a moment to calm down and reassess the entire situation and the potential consequences of his behaviour for whoever was on the other side of that door.

If only. As Arthur Conan Doyle, author of The Complete Sherlock Holmes, once said `it is easy to be wise after the event'.

Another author, David Zindell, suggests that `before, you are wise; after, you are wise. In between you are otherwise'.

These athletes may have gained wisdom as a result of their actions, but one thing is for sure, we sure do like watching them in the `otherwise' space.

If you can, look away and get on with your own life and try to practise wisdom before, during and after.

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