Varsity was too powerful for Zingers up at the Point - the students look the second-best side in town, but they play the best side in the semifinal.
The Eels - surprisingly, with the team they had in the liftout - beat the Magpies at home.
My spies tell me there were a few late changes and I hear Otago midfielder Michael Collins was back after an extended injury layoff.
The Sharks donned the respirators to outlast Kaik so their supporters could finally enjoy the hospitality in their fine clubrooms.
The Broncos trampled on the Spannerheads in the second spell to cling on to eighth.
The Hawks were too good for Pirates out wide so will finish top and win the Gallaway.
The Highlanders
I wouldn't normally say thisbut club rugby is a yawn this weekend as the five top sides should record comfortable victories, so it's all about the final.
When I looked at the team Big Jake picked late last year and there were several supposed ''no-names''.
I thought if they got close to the playoffs we should be reasonably satisfied.
But nobody told the no-names the script!Mark Reddish, Alex Ainley, Josh Hohneck, Brendon Edmonds, Ash Dixon, Ross Geldehuys and latterly Daniel Lienert-Brown (most of them pig hunters) have stood up and been counted this year and are a big part of the reason this team has made the final.
Five All Blacks and most of the New Zealand Maori team is a testament to how well this team is going.
Last weekend I tipped the Landers but I felt at that stage the Waratahs were the best team in the competition and getting past them would be a major hurdle.
Mission accomplished with aplomb.
Forget the moaning about the penalty try - we scored five.
But leave Kearns alone - there's nothing wrong with being biased.
We will beat the Hurricanes because we are a pack of grafters and I think they have a soft underbelly, and this game will be won up front. Both backlines are breathtaking and I hope we see that.
The Highlanders by six.
Highlander bits
The Highlanders front rowers plus selected guests (normally to carry the pigs out) go out pig hunting most Wednesdays.
All the other franchises including the Crusaders are banned from this pastime because it's too draining and dangerous!
That's why the Highlanders win the final.
Marty Banks was mysteriously not available last week for the semifinal. Was this a case for Mulder and Scully?
Being the intrepid sleuth, I found out he jumped out of bed last Monday morning, promptly fainted, face-planted and knocked himself out - typical back!
The bottom six
Apparently the bottom six are playing off in some meaningless competition around semifinals and finals weekend.
I hear teams are grumbling.
It did come out with the draw at the start of the season and yes, I missed it too, or I would have jumped in then, boots and all.
Did the metro committee reps actually talk to their players and coaches about this futile exercise before committing to it?
Supposedly it's about keeping supporters at your clubs for another couple of weeks - you must be kidding me!
I hear the Dunedin Casino is putting up a $1000 prize for the winner, so good on them.
Teams fifth through eighth play for that and the wooden spooners play to find the holder of the spoon.
If I was running Pirates - 18 points clear of Green Island - I would think that is ridiculous.
I'll be interested to see how many teams front.
Perhaps a rethink is needed?
Drama in the valleys
In the battle of the basin between Wakatipu and Arrowtown, which was won comprehensively by home team Wakatipu, there was some byplay between the Arrowtown coaches and visiting referee Rob Wells.
Letters have been sent and the pontification is magnifying.
Apparently it came down to where the coaches were watching the game from behind the dead-ball line and some advice that may have been given regarding yellow cards.
The coach is from a very placid, non-confrontational family and the co-coach may have been a former ORFU board member - more next week.
Other bits
Hale T-Pole has been seconded to Tongan World Cup duty so is gone from the Hawks - a major loss, in my opinion.
Speaking of Harbour, big Elioti Tonga went to play for the seniors out at West Taieri last weekend.
Churlishly, West Taieri protested that but was overturned by the committee. But it didn't finish there.
He was cited by a spectator (presumably not a Harbour supporter) during the game for a ''lazy knee'' and was due to appear before the judiciary this week.
Octogenarian Neal Wallace is back refereeing premier rugby this weekend - unbelievable. Bring back ''Scratcher'' Kennedy as well!
This weekend
Predictably destroyed Doc from Kaik last weekend but I recommend the booze prices in his bar!
After undue pressure from the sponsor, I'm up against Stephen from Dunedin this weekend, so the pressure is astronomical.
Stephen lost his mum a couple of weeks ago, so commiserations to him and his family.
The Magpies (13+) win comfortably at the Bog over the Colours.
Varsity (13+) is on fire and will torch Kaik at home.
The Eels (13+) slither into town and stampede the Ponies at the Equestrian Dome.
The Sharks (13+) should hold on to the ''Salmon'' over Pirates because that's what Sharks do.
The Hawks (13+) are too strong at home for the Spannerheads.
The Highlanders (13+) climb the mountain and claim the Holy Grail.
Rugby Chat is live in Wellington this weekend. Come up and say ''gidday'' and watch out for it on the ODT website.
