• Where will ...
Imagine if this was, say, 1988.
Imagine you were a cricket fan, and you were in attendance at all four one-day internationals between New Zealand and England.
Oh, how marvellous to see New Zealand score 204 (at a run rate of more than four - four - an over) in the first ODI, and what a thrill when New Zealand (you can't refer to the Black Caps, because that name hasn't been invented yet) chases down England's imposing 208 in the fourth ODI.
John Wright scores 70 off 92 balls and a dazzling 101 off just 120 balls, Andrew Jones belts 90 off only 126 balls, and New Zealand batsmen smash five sixes - more than one a game!You couldn't win a lot of money for catching a six with one hand, and you couldn't check other sports results on your phone, and you couldn't get much other than a hot dog and candy floss to eat at the ground.
But gosh, what an exciting time to be a cricket lover
• .... this madness end?
Fast forward to the 2015 Cricket World Cup.
There have been team scores of 408, 331, 342, 303, 339, 300, 304, 307, 310, 307, 372 and assorted 280s and 270s.
Individually, we have seen a 75 off 46 balls, a 77 off 25 (Brendon McCullum's special cameo), a 128 off 107, an unbeaten 138 off 92, a 102 off 84, a 106 off 83, and a ridiculous 215 - yes, 215, scored by one man, the incomparable Chris Gayle - off 147. Oh, and AB de Villies' insane 162 off 66 last night.
And I'm not sure these numbers are shocking. Modern cricket, and all that.
There was a time - I remember it vividly - when a team (and its fans) breathed a sigh of relief when the magic 200 was passed.
Now, you are generally disappointed with 250, and often wonder if 300 will be enough.
Where will this end? Will 400 - already achieved 12 times - become a regular score? Will an ODI century be considered merely decent, and a double century (Gayle's was the fifth) crop up regularly?
• The Lydia files (1)
Surely, this is the last New Zealand Women's Golf Open that does not have full live coverage on an easily-accessible television station.
Everybody wants to watch Lydia Ko play as often as possible, especially when it is her home Open.
It's a situation that simply needs to be sorted.
• The Lydia files (2)
Anyone else spot Ko listed as an Australian in the Scoreboard section of this fine newspaper on Monday?Don't blame us - well, not entirely. The Australian Associated Press supplied the results and the nasty [AUS] after Ko's name was not picked up at our end.
Crowded House, Phar Lap, pavlova and now Lydia Ko. The Aussies are trying to pinch our best and brightest again.
• What, no Ben?
Just a little bit strange to see Highlanders talisman Ben Smith miss the cut for the five players of the year in the latest edition of the New Zealand Rugby Almanack.
After Brodie Retallick, Smith was the best All Black last year.
• Parma-nent crisis
Back in the day (the 1990s, which were and remain the greatest of days), Parma was one of the sexiest Italian football clubs.
Faustino Asprilla, Gianfranco Zola, Dino Baggio, Nestor Sensini, Fabio Cannavaro, Hernan Crespo, Lillian Thuram - drool.
But ye gods, how the mighty have fallen. Parma's collapse makes Liverpool's struggles at times in the English Premier League seem like a glorious era.
Parma is bottom of Serie A (by 10 points), the players have not been paid all season, the club is on its third set of owners this season, and the end could be nigh. In a final indignity, the players are to be forced to do their own laundry.
''From tomorrow onwards, there will be no more laundry service. We will take our kit home to wash,'' captain Alessandro Lucarelli said.
The Ansa news agency also reports some dressing-room furniture has been put up for action, and Parma's last home game was called off because the club could not afford to pay for stewards or the police.
• The first quote
''They each had their little pill in front of their plates for the meal before the match. The Blacks realised that their opponents, unrecognisable from the previous week, were loaded.''
- Former team doctor Jacques Mombet claims French rugby players were high on amphetamines in the infamous Battle of Nantes in 1986.
• The second quote
''I miss being like my other friends. I like to listen to music but my dad says I can't use earphones because it is not good for my ears, and I have to get up to train early at 6 every morning.''
- The inspiring (possibly a little sad) life of 12-year-old golfer Bohyun Park, dreaming of becoming the next Lydia Ko.
• Triumph
It is very cool that the Irish have won their first two games at the Cricket World Cup.
A reality check looms in the form of South Africa, but the men in green have done a huge amount to advance the cause of the minor nations.
Get them into test cricket, I say.
• Disaster
The Greek Government has taken the drastic step of suspending all games in the country's football Super League following violence between rival supporters, AFP reports.
Incredibly, the suspension - which lasts for at least one round - is the third this season.
The most recent issues have revolved around Athens rivals Olympiakos and Panathinaikos. Officials clashed at a meeting, and fans invaded the pitch during last weekend's game, firing flares and hurling seats.
Makes Highlanders v Crusaders seem pretty tame, right?
