Cricket leaves few words

On the cusp . . .

The truth is I don't know what to write today.

There are no words left.

Are we really going to win the Cricket World Cup?

Would that be the only thing crazier than Brendon McCullum scoring a test triple-century or Martin Guptill scoring a one-day international double-century?

I tweeted after Tuesday night's drama that it was the most incredible cricket game I had watched. How can the final possibly top that?

I suspect we'd all settle for a game utterly devoid of drama as long it ended with the right team winning.

Australia 195 all out, New Zealand 196 for five after 38.3 overs - that will do just fine

 

.... of glory

If the Black Caps do cap a magical period in our cricketing history with World Cup victory, where will they rate?

It was either a wise man or a spinner of trivial Saturday yarns who wrote that you can split top New Zealand sporting teams throughout history into three tiers. -

Tier One: Into this go the 1905, 1924-25, 1987 and 2011 All Blacks, the 1972 rowing eight, Bond and Murray, the 2008 Kiwis, the first Team New Zealand, the 1976 men's hockey team, and the 1967, 1987 and 2003 Silver Ferns.

Tier Two: The 2002 Tall Blacks, the 1982 and 2010 All Whites, the peak Crusaders and the peak Breakers.

Tier Three: Various Black Sox teams that won world titles, the 1982 White Sox, all other world champion rowing teams and the Eisenhower Trophy golfers.

A Black Caps win sends them straight into Tier One. Even if they lose, I'd suggest a spot in the upper reaches of Tier Two is secure.

 

Mea culpa

I apologise for doubting the selection of Grant Elliott.

I apologise for questioning whether Martin Guptill deserved a place in the Black Caps batting order.

I apologise for basically doubting all the way that we could make the final.

I do not, however, apologise for calling for Ross Taylor to never be allowed to call for a run again, nor for begging Sky to get someone slightly less gushy to do the post-game interviews.

 

Overkill, maybe?

Guardian football writer Sid Lowe put our excitement over the Cricket World Cup into perspective this week.

He reported that Spanish newspaper Marca had devoted no fewer than THIRTY-TWO pages to previewing El Clasico, the Barcelona v Real Madrid football clash.

''The hype was as relentless as ever. Sport ran a series of articles with a handwriting expert who, surprise, surprise, decided that Ronaldo's signature proves he displays `false humility, egocentrism and sensitivity to criticism', while Messi's shows he's `ambitious' and basically much more lovely. As did the inevitable video of the players' wives, asking `who wins?' And there was even a double page spread dedicated to what a load of chefs thought about it.''

 

Bagging it

A rift between caddies for some of golf's greatest players and PGA Tour officials, which has resulted in a lawsuit by the bagmen, appears to be growing wider, AFP reports.

Duane Bock, a caddie for Kevin Kisner, said a tour official scolded him for wearing salmon-red shorts last weekend at Bay Hill during the Arnold Palmer Invitational.

''This PGA Tour is at it again. Apparently they had a problem with the colour of my shorts today,'' Bock tweeted.

''After the round, I was told in the scoring trailer by a PGA Tour official that these shorts are not an acceptable colour. Funny how I've been wearing these shorts every week for the last 14 tournaments but now they have a problem.

''Guess the colour of my shorts is taking attention away from that MasterCard symbol I'm advertising on my back for FREE''.

Bock was among 167 PGA caddies who filed a lawsuit last month against the tour, claiming restraint of trade and seeking a share of the income from sponsor-logo bibs with player names that all caddies are required to wear, serving as human billboards while carrying player clubs.

 

The first quote

''I'm an ovarian goldmine. I can't waste these genes.- UFC star Ronda Rousey tells ESPN she plans to have children when her career is over.

 

The second quote

''I had a great career, I was getting married, I have a perfect family. There was really nothing going against me. I was happy, very happy. Then all of a sudden something happens you don't expect. You see your world turned around, literally from one second to the next. I didn't know how strong I was until that happened and I didn't know how much you can actually take. It really feels like someone close to you has died.''

- Former world No 1 tennis player Caroline Wozniacki reflects on her split with golfer Rory McIlroy last year.

 

Triumph

Bravo to the Australian Rugby Union for acting swiftly in the recent example of a player who used a homophobic slur.

Waratahs loose forward Jacques Potgieter was fined after using a derogatory term against a Brumbies player, his abuse brought to the referee's attention by vocal same-sex marriage advocate David Pocock.

The thing is you shouldn't have to be a vocal same-sex marriage advocate nor a famously politically active rugby player to call for this sort of rubbish to be stamped out.

You should just be a human being.

 

Disaster

Our hoodoo is broken. Will the South African cricketers ever make a World Cup final?

hayden.meikle@odt.co.nz

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