Trepidation as Fitness and Fashion taking toll

Queenstown bureau chief Tracey Roxburgh documents the highs and lows as she takes part in the Queenstown Winter Festival Lindauer Ladies Fitness and Fashion Challenge.

December 30, 2009

Had to ask kind flatmate to please help me getting dressed.

Squeezed myself into jeans, then spotted nice jacket neglected for many moons.

Must wear it.

Get it on, but can't do up buttons.

Forced to lie on bed while kind flatmate buttons me up.

Struggling, she accomplishes what I couldn't.

Standing, I feel like I'm in a corset - not a good sign.

December 31, 2009

Sore stomach muscles.

Too scared to breathe deeply last night in case a button pinged off and blinded someone.

Tomorrow is new year, diet will start tomorrow.

February 1, 2009

Diet has not started.

Too busy being social.

Have not done any exercise (too hot).

I may not be good at many things, but totally excel at procrastination.

Friday, March 26

Diet starts April 6.

Am doing American Express Queenstown Winter Festival Lindauer Ladies Fitness and Fashion Challenge.

It's quite the mouthful (and takes long time and much concentration to type), therefore, hereafter shall be known as The Challenge.

Also have to go to gym.

Don't like gyms, primarily because most people at gyms don't need to be there.

Seeing skinny minnies and iron men parading about in attire I would not wear even in the privacy of my own abode does little for self-confidence.

Also question the need for ceiling-to-floor mirrors in gyms.

Avoid mirrors at the best of times (good reason for my one gammy eye. I close the other one while getting dressed ... did permanent damage to said eye one day when I forgot to squeeze it shut when trying to break world record for speed dressing. Saw things no-one should ever see, hence, permanent damage).

Thought of being surrounded by fit people who need neither gyms nor mirrors - not just one, but a mirror for every possible angle (including all those no-one, particularly me, wants to see) makes me feel sick.

Almost as sick as thinking of the 2160 hours of minimal carbohydrates, no lard and no fun-juice being yelled at by a personal trainer and living in constant physical pain.

But not quite as sick as the parading aspect of The Challenge makes me feel.

Monday, March 29

Have another encounter with the measuring tape.

Thought I had seen the last of that.

Wrong again.

Squeezed eyes shut and tried really hard to go to my happy place (FYI, happy place was somewhere far, far away where cocktails were in abundance and I looked like the girl from Chuck).

This was not as traumatic as I had envisaged - mind you, The Scales were nowhere to be seen.

Then had to do video interview.

Was asked why I wanted to do The Challenge.

Likened the past 20 years to The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Am currently the caterpillar.

Told nice video man I wanted to be a beautiful butterfly.

He laughed at me.

Later received phone call from Richie Lambert of Funktional Fitness.

He wants to see me on Thursday.

He sounds like a very nice man ... but I will probably be saying bad words about him next week.