Swiss author Alain De Botton tracks the story of a couple and their marriage in this interesting and moving novel.
THE COURSE OF LOVE
Alain De Botton
Hamish Hamilton/Penguin Random House
By MARGARET BANNISTER
Swiss author Alain De Botton has written 12 widely appreciated books, principally on aspects of contemporary culture, such as Status Anxiety and Religion for Atheists.
His new book is a novel, with a difference. The Course of Love tells the story of a couple, Rabih Khan and Kirsten McLelland, and their marriage as it develops over several years.
We are told of Rabih's early experience, including the death of his mother when he was 12. At age 15, on holiday on the Costa del Sol with father and stepmother, he has an intense experience of a young woman, to whom he never speaks. De Botton explains this in an aside, as a first experience of a soulmate. It is of course intensely romantic.
The story moves forward to Rabih's first meeting with Kirsten and a relationship begins. This is the start of love. Each stage of their lives together and their major difficulties is gently and persuasively examined. This may sound irritating, but this reader found it not only fascinating but also deeply moving.
When things get really difficult the couple head to a counsellor/psychotherapist who usefully is a devotee of attachment theory, in which the long-term impact of early relationship experience on adult relationships is explored. My sense is that some will read no further!
But do persist. The counsellor's gentle supportive probing brings to the surface important events in the childhood of both partners which allows them to begin to have a deeper and more compassionate understanding of each other.
My only reservation about this work is that it does tend to emphasise Rabih's experience, and no mention is made of the fact cross-cultural relationships can have their own special difficulties. It is intensely interesting, takes a good hard look at the prevailing romantic views of love and marriage, and would be a good present for any couple approaching marriage, or experiencing difficulties.
Margaret Bannister is a retired Dunedin psychotherapist and science teacher.
