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Men have been fighting each other since before we were lobsters. We love it. We are evolved mentally and physically for man-on-man fighting.
This can lead to problems. That’s why we don’t do it much anymore. Turns out people can get hurt when you punch them really hard in the face. Especially wimpy dudes like me.
Unlike the movies, real fights are generally grim humiliating affairs.
So what do we do? Nature wants us to fight, society doesn’t. The answer is simple. Virtual reality.
I’ve been playing Creed: Rise to Glory VR on my PS4. I haven’t been this happy in ages. Smacking a realistic 3-D dude right in the face is so satisfying. He’s right there in front of you, he looks big, he looks tough and you punch him right in his 3-D face. It’s so good. It’s also a victimless crime.
There’s no cost to the taxpayer in terms of hospitalisation, policing or imprisonment. It’s win win win.
Best of all you immediately gain perfect abs and massive arms, well, in the game anyway. It’s a pleasure to look at your new rendered body. VR boxing is also great for real fitness. Exercise is boring. Beating up dudes is not.
I can hardly write on this keyboard I’m sweating so much from the virtual workout I just did. Rocky Balboa really put me through my paces in a fully immersive 3-D version of Philadelphia’s Front Street Gym. It has dozens of bags to hit, a treadmill and a practice ring. It’s large and spacious and it only takes up a metre in the actual world.
Like many New Zealanders, I’ve flirted with real boxing and failed. I trained for many years at a downtown gym. Sadly, I was useless; a terrible combo of unco and angry.
Then, one day, my foxy boxing career went from bad to worse: I put myself in hospital after popping a disc punching a heavy bag.
Had to get major surgery. If only I had had Creed: Rise To Glory VR I would have been sweet. Virtual boxing is the perfect option for talentless wusses with an urge to fight, like me.
Obviously, being completely immersed in a virtual world has its risks. You’re standing in your lounge in your undies throwing your fists around deaf and blind to the world.
Someone could easily come in and rob you, or worse, film you and share it. I imagine I look like a massive spoon in the real world while kicking butt in the virtual one. I suggest making sure everyone is out and the doors are locked.
You’ll need to spend a bit of cash on gear. A PS4, the game, a VR Headset and Move Controllers. But it’s totally worth it.
Creed: Rise To Glory VR
From: Survios Rating: ★★★★
- by Matt Heath