Clear and resolute

Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images

Each new year provides us with 365 opportunities, life coach Jan Aitken says.

I like January. I always have a couple of weeks holiday and it feels like the calm after the hustle and bustle of Christmas and New Year. It’s the gap before the new year really picks up speed and kicks in. ]

If like me you were able to take a break, I hope it wasn’t all about catching up on things and that you had some time to relax and unwind, to spend some time reflecting on last year and to plan the year ahead.

Hopefully you got to answer the questions in my last column of 2016. If you didn’t, then you can take a moment to answer a few of them here:

Create a phrase or statement that describes last year for you. 

• What was the single biggest time waster in your life last year? I don’t mean something that allowed you to relax and unwind or refuel. I’m talking about something that really didn’t enhance your life in any way, but took up time! The trick with changing the time waster is figuring out what you are going to do  differently so you don’t fall into the timewaster trap again.

• What was the single best thing that happened last year?

• Create a phrase or statement that you want to describe this new year for you.

What are you going to do to make that phrase or statement become reality?

If you’ve been thinking about making some changes this year it’s not too late to start. In fact it’s never too late to start!

It is easy to make blithe New Year resolutions and then by the time February rolls around they’ve slipped into the "never never", never to be seen again! It’s worth taking a bit of time to put together resolutions that are truly meaningful to you.

If you choose things you really want to achieve you give yourself a head start, rather than choosing something you think you "should" do. That can make it a bit of an uphill start and there are enough curve balls in life to try to throw you off-kilter without making things harder for yourself.

Start small and build up to bigger resolutions/projects/goals. Each new year provides us with 365 opportunities. That may sound a little trite, but I like the idea that each day we can do something that moves us towards achieving what we set out to. Small steps can add up to big results.

Be really clear about what you are setting out to achieve. What does it mean to you? How will your life be better when you reach your goal? What will it feel like? Is this a small step towards a bigger goal: if so what’s the result you’re after? Begin with the end in mind. After all if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you’ve got there?

Take responsibility for your results. You can’t control everything in life, but you can control what action you take and how you respond to events. If something comes along and throws you off track, take stock, readjust and keep going. There’s a fine balance between stubbornly striving to reach a goal and being flexible enough to accommodate life’s twists and turns. Emotional flexibility and resilience are keys to success.

Be aware of your self-talk - what you think and say to yourself - aloud and in your head. Be kind to yourself, especially when things go a little pear-shaped, as they can be inclined to do: that’s life, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Regroup and carry on.

Eliminate complaining: the whiney sort of complaining. If there’s a genuine issue that needs to be sorted, then deal with it. But the negative, bitchy moaning and whining will only drag you down. Leave it behind.

Write your resolutions down or mind-map them. Keep a record and check in on them regularly. Ask yourself if you’re on track or do you need to tweak the action you’re taking? Don’t be afraid to adjust things if you need to.

Don’t forget to have some fun with this. Not everything in life has to be serious. Be bold and expand your thinking, try new experiences along the way.

- Jan Aitken is a Dunedin-based life coach.

For more go to www.fitforlifecoaches.co.nz.

Twitter:@jan—aitken

 

Top tips for setting successful resolutions/projects/goals

• Identify resolutions/projects/goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Authentic (that is, something that YOU want to achieve that’s based on YOUR core values), Realistic, and have a Time frame).

• Ask yourself: do you feel energised and enthusiastic about what you’re setting out to achieve? If you’re not, is it the right thing for you to be going after?Resolve any limiting self-beliefs that may trip you up.

Be kind to yourself, keep an eye on your self-talk and thoughts.

• Be prepared to take action: the difference is made by doing something about what you want, not just talking about it.

• Think about who you want to help keep you accountable for what you’ve set out to achieve. Maybe your partner, a trusted friend, a coach? Ask them to help keep you on track.

• See your goal as part of an even bigger goal, part of your life moving forward.

Remember, if you want something this year to be different from last year you’ll have to do something differently! 

 

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