The range of things that kids can find stressful might not be as limited as we often think, writes parenting columnist Ian Munro.
Over the weekend I was listening to our granddaughter talking about climate change. It had been a class topic over the previous week. While I thought the teacher had handled it quite well, I noticed it had generated a level of anxiety in her, all the same.
We can probably reel off the traditional stress factors for youngsters (and ourselves) - death, divorce or separation of parents, death of a pet and moving house and school. With thought we would also add bullying and "stranger danger".
Then, thinking further about what they are exposed to in the media, we could add terrorism, natural disasters and climate change - stress factors for our youngsters that we mightn't register. They hear a lot about a lot of things, often not grasping all aspects and instead interpreting what they hear in light of their own limited knowledge and experience.
We can't totally protect our children from stress and shouldn't try to. Some stress can be beneficial, even healthy. For example, the stress felt before an exam or competition can assist with achieving peak performance.
Stress is a problem when it becomes distress.
Ideally, children cope with stress by talking about the issue and this was what our granddaughter's teacher was attempting to have her class do but, undoubtedly, she wasn't able to address all of the inner concerns of every child in the class.
Granddaughter was following "best practice". She was talking to a trusted adult. But it could also be to a friend or to themselves or even to their pet or a dead relative - confidants they know wouldn't let them down or talk them down, but just "listen". This verbalisation helps with the processing of the stress.
Other strategies could be things such as play or other activities that keep them busy and help keep things in perspective.
If you're concerned your child might be significantly stressed, there will be behavioural indicators - perhaps a noisy child becoming noisier or quieter, or a quiet child becoming quieter or noisier.
You might also notice: recurring stomach aches or headaches, frequent nightmares, return of bedwetting, unusual crying, tantrums or aggressiveness, uncharacteristic whining or clinginess, fear of tackling new things, not liking change, uncharacteristic lying, stealing or cheating, eating problems - too much or too little or faddy, suicidal-type statements, changes in schoolwork or attitude to school, paintings and drawings that are mostly black or red, sudden dislike of usual activities or friends, becoming very timid or a bully, antisocial behaviours such as vandalism or cruelty to pets.
If these behaviours are isolated and infrequent they could just be "growing pains", but an increased frequency is worth investigating.
