Teens' parents should listen to 'gut feeling'

Tarn Felton says bullying is a community-wide issue. PHOTO: BRENDA HARWOOD
Tarn Felton says bullying is a community-wide issue. PHOTO: BRENDA HARWOOD

Anti-bullying expert Tarn Felton says parents should listen to their intuition or that "gut feeling'' when dealing with teens.

"Parents should listen to that instinct around allowing their children to go to parties, and say 'No' if they are not comfortable with it, and explain why they are not comfortable,'' Ms Felton said.

Working under the umbrella of Stopping Violence Dunedin, Ms Felton is the co-ordinator for Bail on Bullying and the Dunedin Collaboration Against Family Violence (DCAFV).

The organisation was experiencing a "significant increase'' in calls concerning bullying incidents, and increasingly younger people were involved, Ms Felton said.

If trouble occurred, it was important for parents to call on as much support as possible, whether from school, the police or support agencies, she said.

"It is important to encourage young people to become 'upstanders', who will stand up and say it is not right if they see bullying, or at least feel secure in asking someone to help in a situation,'' Ms Felton said.

Young people needed much support to overcome bullying, whether they were perpetrators or victims, she said.

"I don't believe that you can feel good after seeing someone getting a hiding and doing nothing,'' she said.

"All these kids have goodness in them. We have to find ways to appeal to that.''

School was an important community for young people and it was a concern if children were suffering in those surroundings.

"We have to stand together and make change.''

There were many "stellar'' teachers in Dunedin who provided excellent support to the young people in their care.

Stopping Violence Dunedin offered a family-centred programme, entitled Kaiwhakaruruhau, which aimed to help support families to deal with violence and bullying.

This involved creating a family plan and a safety plan, in order to empower young people to overcome bullying.

BRENDA.HARWOOD @thestar.co.nz

 

HELP AT HAND

If you are experiencing bullying, or are concerned about someone who may be, the following agencies are available to help:

• Bail on Bullying (BOB) is a support network and resource, driven by young people, which aims to eliminate bullying in Dunedin. Phone 0800 474-1121, or find them on Facebook.

• Youthline Otago can be contacted by phoning 0800 376-633, free-texting 234 or online on Facebook.

• Sticks'n'Stones is a pupil-led programme focused on taking positive action online to stop bullying online or in person. Email sticks'n'stones@gmail.com or find them on Facebook.

• Stopping Violence Dunedin (SVD) focuses on reducing family violence and other damaging conflict in our communities. Phone 474-1121, or go online to www.stoppingviolencedunedin.org.nz

• If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, dial 111 for the police.

 

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