The woman who alleges a top cricketer raped her after a night out broke down in tears as she described the "horrific" process of being a complainant.
Northern Districts cricket player Scott Kuggeleijn is on trial for raping a 21-year-old student at her Hamilton flat after a night of drinking on May 17, 2015.
As the young woman neared her second and final afternoon of giving evidence in the estimated five day trial at Hamilton District Court, she told of how she was getting nothing from the process and had lost friends over it.
Fighting back tears, the court heard how her mother now looked at her differently and it was something she would have to live with for the rest of her life.
But she said she was doing it so no other woman would be in the same position as her.
Defence lawyer Philip Morgan QC read a transcript of an interview with the woman and police three weeks after the incident where she talked about having some doubts.
"You feel so stupid and that makes me think maybe, maybe did he force himself on me and that's when I have doubts ... "
She also told police in a 90-minute transcribed interview that she didn't know why she didn't yell to her flatmates for help.
" ... and this is where I start doubting myself. I'm not that type of person. I'm a strong person ... I should know how to stand up for myself and I know stuff like that isn't OK and I don't know what it was, I just froze ... "
But when Morgan questioned her on the stand she said he had taken it out of context and she had no doubts and did not consent to him.
Earlier, defence lawyer Philip Morgan QC read a transcript given by the woman to police three weeks after the alleged rape occurred where she told police she thought people would think she was a "slut or tease" for taking Kuggeleijn home and not sleeping with him.
The woman told the court she did not have these thoughts, but after hearing the transcript said they occurred earlier in the night and when three friends stopped into the flat and caught them in bed on their way back to their flat.
She said this was why she did not tell Kuggeleijn to go.
But she was adamant she did not think this when her and Kuggeleijn woke about 7am and started kissing.
"Because I was a bit more aware of my surroundings, I was set ... that I did not want to have sex with him."
The woman said she responded to his kisses but told him to stop when he took off her underwear.
"I knew I had been physically overpowered and pinned down and I had said no to him several times."
Morgan said his client's recollection was different to hers and he would say that she did not resist, he took her underwear off and they had sex. He denied pinning her arms above her head.
The trial before a jury of eight men and four women continues.
