Kane Te Tai's death has not been officially confirmed but RNZ sources say they have been told of his death by his unit commander.
His mother Ngaire Te Tai said she was told by her son's contacts in Ukraine and that his body had been recovered.
MFat said last night it was aware of reports of a New Zealander’s death in Ukraine but those reports were yet to be officially verified.
Kane Te Tai, who has a 12-year-old daughter, was in regular contact on social media with a wide circle of friends and his absence through Monday and and Tuesday led to concerns.
Ngaire Te Tai said her son, raised in Beach Haven, had always been drawn to protect communities and stand up for "the underdog" - qualities that led him to Ukraine.
"I wasn’t very happy with it," she said of his decision to go. "But he’s a grown man and there’s nothing I could have done. His entire family tried to persuade him not to go. He’s a very complex fella, my son, but he’s always been very community spirited."
Ngaire Te Tai said Kane had signed up for the NZ Army "straight out of school", with parents at his side through the preliminary recruiting process. "He told his father and I - not the other way around. I hoped it would have worn off - but it didn’t."
In his years of service, her son had served in Afghanistan and elsewhere on peacekeeping duties.
"He came back a different person. He was there before the age of 21. He saw some things, I guess, and my son was a changed person."
Ngaire Te Tai said military-style toys were a feature in Kane’s childhood but when it came to joining the military - and the journey to Ukraine - "it wasn’t about the war itself, it was about wanting to be of use".
"People serve the church, people serve the community. That was his community. He loved whānau. He loved people. And he loved to help the underdog. My son was a good man."
"He never held anything back from me. He told me how it is. What can you do? There’s nothing you can do."
Former NZDF staff sergeant Aaron Wood was one of those whose concern for Kane Te Tai was constant during the time he was immersed in the war between Russia and Ukraine, one of the deadliest and most brutal of modern conflicts.
Both former NZDF soldiers, Te Tai and Wood had worked together to get the veterans’ support group No Duff operating.
In Wood’s last exchange with Te Tai, he sounded his mate out on helping with an academic project and asked if he intended to take a break from the fighting.
The message Wood received in response arrived on Sunday and read: "Nah bro, that’s enough war for me.
"I love this place, it’s like a playground where I get to do anything I want. But that’s the problem, isn’t it?
"So before the game gets me or before I just decide life here is too easy, maybe it’s time to start living my real life.
"This place is pure escapism. We are all trying to run from something. Mine is from having a real life, but the time is near. Gotta put away the toys and start to build while I can."
Wood passed on Te Tai’s message as an example of the myriad of post-service issues with which veterans contend, knowing doing so would have his mate’s support.
"He knew he was f***ed up. He knew he was missing something and he went over there to find it."
The nature of the conflict was brutal and unforgiving, he said, with word that Te Tai fell when Russians stormed the trench he was involved in holding.
Former defence minister Ron Mark met Te Tai during a trip to Ukraine last year and described him as "a good bugger" to whom he would speak a couple of times a week.
He said Te Tai had carried out a favour for him recently "which I believe to this day saved another man’s life". He wouldn’t say what it was but that it was an example of Te Tai knowing "the right thing to do".
There was speculation among the veteran community that Russians had placed a bounty on Te Tai after he featured in an article in The New Yorker and in other high-profile media slots.
Mark said it would not have been unusual for Te Tai’s social media and media appearances to have been noted by Russian authorities. Local media reporting would likely have had a similar focus for the Russian Embassy in Wellington.
He said Te Tai "never did anything with media without permission of command" but putting himself out there carried risks and "the downside is pretty personal".
"He’s one of those Kiwis who knew something was wrong and wanted to do something about it. He said it was the best job he ever had."
Te Tai’s last Facebook post carried exactly those words - "best job I ever had" - alongside a photograph in which he was holding an automatic rifle while wearing a body armour vest carrying the New Zealand flag.
Mark said some among the veteran community were drawn to places of conflict with the motivation often being the same as that which drew them into service with the NZ Defence Force.
"The desire to serve the greater good never goes away. Some act on it. Soldiers, service personnel - whether on a P3 [aircraft] or a frigate or driving an armoured vehicle - this is what they see as their purpose in life."
Mark was among a cohort of New Zealanders who had pushed to build bonds and supply aid to Ukraine. It was in this context he met with Te Tai in Ukraine.
"Every one of us who goes there knows what the outcome could be."
An MFAT spokesperson said it was aware of reports of the death of a New Zealander in Ukraine.
"These reports have not been able to be officially verified at this time. For privacy reasons, no further information will be provided."
Te Tai was code-named "Turtle" in Ukraine, where he arrived in April last year. His service there first saw him training others to fight before he headed to the front lines as a member of a secretive reconnaissance unit in the country’s east.
A week ago, footage emerged of Te Tai rescuing a Ukrainian friend held captive in a Russian bunker.
Video showed Te Tai entering the basement area where a man in battle fatigues could be seen face down on the ground. When turned over to be searched, he saw Te Tai and cried out: "New Zealand! New Zealand!"
"I recognised him," he wrote on social media. "It was my friend who I thought was killed by the Russians when they invaded his house.
"He barely looked like the man I knew a couple of months ago. But it was the best thing to happen to me in this God-forsaken war."
- Additional reporting RNZ
