By Hania Coll - Year 12, South Otago High School
Public service announcement: Men, please stop telling women to smile.
Think of one of the most affectionate things a person can give another person.
Smiling is probably near the top of the list. It's especially nice when someone genuinely smiles as it's a sign of happiness, even for a small moment.
Therefore, I find it extremely uncomfortable when a strange man tells me to smile.
There's nothing wrong with smiling, but telling someone to smile most likely won't make them happy. Quite the opposite actually.
Before I get told to calm down, stop my radical feminist rant and go back to the kitchen, hear me out.
If you are a woman that has gone outside at some point, I would bet money that a man has told you to smile.
Chances are, it made you feel awkward, creeped out and that your personal space is being invaded.
I'm sure that some of them don't mean to be disrespectful. They want to see you happy.
But telling a woman to smile is a command that never feels good.
No matter the intention, it equates to asking a woman to change her appearance and behaviour to fit what you think is most pleasant.
Society's stereotypical expectations of women are to be polite, accommodating and nurturing, whereas we expect men to be strong, aggressive and bold.
This usually results in women being too scared to stand up to a man who is telling her to smile, and the man doing it without seeing anything wrong with it.
Even in the 21st century, an outdated societal expectation is that women should be nice, that we must be nurturing and one way for us to show this is to smile.
Women can refuse this expectation, but it is not without consequence.
Women are extremely disliked if they don't play out this nurturing expectation and smiling goes along with that.
If you do not conform to this, you are usually considered cold, withholding or a b***h.
Female celebrities are also unfairly told to smile more whereas their male counterparts don't get nearly as much harassment.
For example, Brie Larson who plays Captain Marvel, in the movie of the same name, was faced with criticism for not smiling enough in the movie trailer, with one person going as far as photoshopping a smile on to her face.
Larson responded brilliantly by doing the same to other Marvel movie posters with male actors who were not smiling, showing how the smiling expectation for women is not the same for men.
How is smiling going to make her a better superhero? Is she going to take down villains with a grin?
I'm going to be optimistic and say that most probably have good intentions.
Most are probably oblivious to the fact that their unsolicited advice is offputting.
I guess I am writing this to offer those men some unsolicited advice of my own. Don't tell women to smile!
