If you think the Biden-Trump clash was awash in controversy, allegation and tension, and that it divided a nation like no other issue, you have seen nothing yet.
We refer, of course, to that annual debate that keeps New Zealand in a vice-like grip during a two-week voting period, and beyond — when the results are analysed and examined, the victor questioned, and the entire democratic system cast into doubt.
It is nearly time to crown the Bird of the Year.
A trivial matter, yes, but tell that to the passionate supporters of the mighty toroa, the cheeky kea, the endangered whio, and the good old kiwi.
Tell the advocates for the hoiho, which last year staged a stunning late run to become the first seabird to win the coveted title, that the yellow-eyed waddlers have been doing a year-long victory tour for nothing.
Voting closes at 5pm on Sunday, and there will soon after be a new champion of the New Zealand avian world, and it will bring new meaning to the lives of whichever breed claims the crown.
That is, of course, if we do not get bogged down in an American-style mess of slow counting and controversy, if we do not get bird-brained protesters yelling "stop the count", and if the hoiho does not refuse to vacate the top spot on the podium.
Already, there have been signs of skullduggery. Competition organiser Forest & Bird this week reviewed about 1500 fraudulent votes that had been cast in the state of Pennsylvan ... in online voting for the little spotted kiwi. They propelled the pukupuku to the top of the leaderboard, but were subsequently removed.
As the campaign enters its final days, we implore all bird fans to respect the democratic process, and to use their single vote (well, technically five) with suitable discretion and sincerity.
The competition, which started 15 years ago when the tui was the inaugural winner, now attracts global interest.
Last year, the BBC reported breathlessly on the "antisocial penguin" — the hoiho — that claimed victory. This week, the Guardian has been covering the issue, highlighting an adult toy store’s endorsement of "a small, polyamorous bird with unusually large genitals", the hihi (stitchbird).
There are reports the toroa and the kakapo — it won in 2008; that would appear to put the boomer out of the running as, oddly, there have been 15 different winners in 15 years — led the early voting.
The Otago Daily Times has no dog in this fight, if you will pardon the cross-species reference. We imagine our readers would be delighted if any of our local birds — the toroa, the shag, the little penguin, the "mighty, majestic, fearsome" harrier hawk — were to come out on top.
In a year that has delivered so many challenges, the Bird of the Year comes as welcome light relief. Let’s enjoy it, whichever bird wins.
