Gratitude rids us of sense of entitlement

Give thanks and, above all else, teach your children gratitude, the Ven Stu Crosson urges.

Recently, I dropped off one of my sons to school for a music practice.

I had woken him early and got his breakfast before driving him to the practice.

When he got out of the car we said goodbye, and as I drove away I realised he hadn't said thanks.

Teaching our boys to be thankful for all the blessings and good that comes their way has always been a priority for my wife and me because we firmly believe gratitude lies near the centre of a healthy person's life.

This month, I was invited to a friend's 60th birthday celebration.

(You know your age is creeping up when you are attending more 60th birthday parties than 21sts!).

It was a modest gathering and one of the best birthday parties I have attended, because of what David said.

He had deliberately invited a few people from his work, from a school he had journeyed with, from his church and, of course, all his family were there.

The theme of David's speech was gratitude. He expressed his deep thanks to the people present for the way we had, in some way, enriched his life.

In David's modest way, he made the birthday party about us.

He thanked us and we felt blessed to know him and the generosity of spirit this man has.

Then he thanked his heavenly Father for the source of all these blessings.

I came away from this gathering so encouraged by David's warm and generous life of love and thanksgiving.

This commitment to gratitude is not something that comes naturally to most people.

We are prone to assert our rights, to complain, to feel hard done by and expect a great deal from others without giving much back in return.

It could be argued our generation has grown up with a sense of entitlement.

We think we are entitled to a well-paid job, to owning our house, entitled to good health, to a flat-screen TV, and when these things don't come our way, we so easily grumble and complain.

"It must be the Government's fault, the council's fault, the fault of my parents, my teachers, or my spouse'' ... always looking to blame someone other than ourselves.

Now, of course, there are injustices in life that must be challenged, evils that need to be exposed and rejected; but how easy it is to slip into a complaining pattern.

Spend some time outside the school gate and listen a while.

Read the letters to the editor and count how many are thankful and how many are complaining.

Last year, approaching the age of 80, Oliver Sacks (a professor of neurology made famous by the Robin Williams movie Awakenings) wrote a book titled Gratitude - a compilation of four essays that had become popular.

The essays included "The Joy of Old Age'', "My Own Life'', "My Periodic Table'' and "Sabbath''.

In this he expressed an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.

"Above all,'' he wrote, "I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.''

Partway through the writing of this book, he was diagnosed with a melanoma cancer.

He died shortly after completing his writing but his sense of gratitude was never diminished.

At every meal time, our family pauses briefly before we eat our food to give thanks: for the person who prepared it, for the blessings upon us, for each other and for God's grace (undeserved favour).

To cultivate "an attitude of gratitude'' is one of the most important lessons we can learn.

It focuses us in such a way that we acknowledge our dependence upon others and upon God for the good things in our lives.

It frees us from the debilitating sickness of a sense of entitlement our forebears never knew.

It begins in childhood, but regardless of our age, it is never too late to start fostering an attitude of thankfulness.

Of course, to be thankful invites the question of who are we giving thanks to?

There are so many blessings in living this life.

So much beauty and wonder and joy to experience in the fellowship of others and our God.

As the Psalm writer said: "Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; His love endures forever.''

I am so very grateful.

- The Ven Stu Crosson is Vicar of St Matthew's and Archdeacon of Dunedin.

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