Paul Holmes was like you and me, writes Richard Dawson. He was getting away with as much as he possibly could.
For me at least, Paul Holmes was both brilliant and bothersome, fresh and often frustrating, friendly and yet sometimes frightening in his inquisitorial zeal. In short, he was an enigmatic figure who loomed large on the horizon of our Kiwi consciousness for at least 30 years.
In fronting two of the highest-profile media programmes each day for many of those years, Sir Paul became a household name for ordinary folks in this country and an icon of the ever-changing media industry.
Like him or lump him, Sir Paul was what the media became during those halcyon years, because he fronted two of the highest-rating shows. They were often the most memorable media events of that era, whether it be the last hours of the rampaging gunman David Gray at Aramoana or the heart-wrenching story of the short life and death of Eve van Grafhorst, the girl who contracted Aids through a blood transfusion.
These stories covered major events in our national life but also built an enduring image of a man who would not be silent, a man who loved to talk and a man who loved to be listened to. Whatever you may make of him, it has to be said that Sir Paul made his considerable mark both on New Zealand as a whole and on the media industry.
However, in his last official interview with Janet McIntyre, whom I thought did extremely well, we saw a somewhat different Sir Paul. Close to death and very aware of his declining powers, Sir Paul allowed viewers to see behind the confident front-man to a place where confidence is lost in the shadows of self-doubt and fear.
That Holmes allowed himself to go there and to admit his fears so publicly was, to be fair, the mark of the man - flawed and very human but gifted nonetheless. He was still concerned about how he was seen - as a good man, a man who tried to relate to all people.
But he was also concerned about his eternal destiny; what God might think of him and where death might take him. I was surprised, but should have realised that the basic truths of the Christian faith would still be available to a man of his age, brought up when the Church was still able to assume a working knowledge of the Bible among most people.
In particular, on a number of occasions, Sir Paul referred to the hope that God would consider him good enough to ''get across the line'' or something of that nature. It was a fascinating comment, not just because of what it revealed about himself, but because of what it revealed about the general conception of God, a conception that became crystal clear as Sir Paul communicated with his listeners and his viewers.
Who was God according to Paul Holmes? God was the One whose chief concern was that we humans be ''good''. Now, for those of you who have been in the habit of listening to sermons, you probably have an idea of where this particular piece is going - namely to the good evangelical position that ''goodness'' isn't the issue: rather repentance and faith are.
Not so! You see, I think God is interested in goodness just as we are interested in beauty or a great performance; whether it be on the sports field, on stage or in wonderful food. In other words, the world is simply a better place with these things on tap! The question is: ''What is good?''In another fascinating part of the McIntyre interview, Sir Paul more or less admitted that he knew he wasn't that good. I think he mentioned once or twice ''too many women'' and ''too much wine''; again, a tremendously self-revealing comment and one that spoke so much of the human condition.
Sir Paul lived life pretty much as we all do: getting away with as much as he possibly could! Yes, some people do it with amazing panache while others do it quietly, behind religious walls or ivory towers. We don't do it on television, but we still do it!
But none of this fools God! No list of good deeds done, bills paid, babies kissed or great aunts visited will really ''wash it'' with God. If it fools anyone, such acting really only fools ourselves. What God desires is some honesty with Him - some straight up, barefaced, simple honesty. Christians call it confession.
With that comes peace. With peace comes a better life, the capacity to love better and perhaps a more restful after life. That's why I think Sir Paul may well be running Radio Zion somewhere in the heavenly ether. God still loves cheeky, honest, whiteys!
The Rev Richard Dawson is minister at St Stephens, Leith Valley.
