Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

Donald Trump.
Donald Trump.
I'm not a good enough pedlar of porkies to slink in with a Distinction when our university catches up with the times, and offers a subject called Post-Truth Lying.

Post-Truth Lying (followed perhaps by Advanced Dissimulation) should by now be part of any half decent bachelor of communications degree.

Maybe I'd scrape a B minus if I worked the angles. I'm not a totally talentless liar. When I lie to myself, the number of times I believe me is astonishing.

All this matters, because we're told that since the coronation of Donald Trump, we've entered the Post-Truth Age. So it follows that if we're to keep up with the times, we must practise our fibs?

But honestly. Are we all active participants in this new Post-Truth Age? Does this apply to Agatha You and Theodore Me?

I don't think so. Much has never changed. We still learn to lie at the same age. At about 3, we realise that astonishingly, Mum doesn't know everything that lurks in our naughty little minds. We can get away with lying.

Knowing when the other sods are lying, comes a few years later. A 6-year-old may believe you when, waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru, you say: ''If you don't behave, they'll give you a Sad Meal.'' By 8, the kid who claims Santa is real is taking the mickey.

Lying has always had its place in normal life, and only the most sourpuss moralist would deny that smaller, piglet porkies simply grease the wheels. Lies are the foundation of good manners. Polite society couldn't exist without lies.

Only oafs don't fib to their parents. There would be little sex, my dear fat friends, without lies. Marriage vows should promise that we honour our partners with our undying lies. ''Of course you look like George Clooney. What wrinkles? You're still hot in a miniskirt.'' You know the talk.

But really, this Post-Truth age doesn't define we private citizens. Post-Truth is about public conversation, the smarmspeak of politics, business, and the interest groups.

Politicians have always lied, but they moved up several notches after television news arrived. (Yes kids, this was soon after William the Conqueror). In print media, nobody saw a politician avoiding questions. But when door-stopped politicians found themselves telecast, they had to learn better techniques for avoiding truth.

By quirks of fate and age, I worked on television news in its earlier times, before the beast called Media Training was invented. Then it was common to finish an interview, turn off the mike, and have the Minister for Whatever beg for tips on how to improve his next on-camera performance. (I fed them some stinkers. They loved it).

It was countering the television camera's alarming honesty, which created this demand for Media Training. And I suspect Media Training was one of the dastard parents of what's now Post-Truth politics.

Big fees are paid so public figures can learn to better sidestep truth. They polish the non-response that helps them avoid telling the blatant porkie.

This diligent avoidance of the actual lie at least shows some respect for truth. But media training developed further, often making the search for truth an irrelevant sideshow. We see this when our politician simply ignores the question and states and re-states whatever slogan has been invented for the day. ''Look, the real issue is ... blah.'' You've seen this and cringed.

It is around this point that we cross the fine line between lies and bullshit.

There's a slight, but important, difference between the two. A lie is an opposite to the truth. Bullshit is different - bullshit is an invention that ignores, rather than opposes, truth. The bullshitter is a story-teller who creates or twists ''facts'' and weaves a yarn that becomes a believable fantasy. The internet and Twitter are ideal platforms for bullshitters.

Donald Trump didn't become President because he was, and remains, a liar. Simple lying isn't good enough. He's succeeded because he is that far more dangerous creature - the consummate bullshitter.

This Post-Truth world is more burdened by its bullshit than its lies. Don't start me on the links with PC speak.

-John Lapsley is an Arrowtown writer.

Comments

So, that is why they start every answer with 'So..'. It gives time to construct the response. The cleverest deflection is the answer that bores. S Joyce specialises in examining Opposition stats so the audience loses interest.