This Government is not just gullible, it is weak over illegal and unreported fishing pirates, writes New Zealand First's Ron Mark.
Imagine, just for one moment, that a gang of skilled international art thieves walked out of Dunedin Public Art Gallery carrying off with them its most prized art.
As our law enforcement officials' record this drama in high definition video and before they board a waiting helicopter, one thief stops, inappropriately gesticulates and then holds aloft Lindauer's Chief Ngairo Rakaihikuroa in Wairarapa in triumph.
In Wellington, the Police Minister solemnly calls this a reprehensible crime.
She reassures the good people of Otago that the Government is in contact with Interpol and thanks to ''some great video evidence'' and ''world-class law enforcement'', these criminals will be brought before a court sometime, somewhere.
I don't think this scenario would sit well with most people but that is exactly what unfolded in the Southern Ocean over toothfish last month.
It gets worse. Being unique, stolen art is incredibly hard to sell but one illegitimate toothfish looks like a legitimate toothfish.
It all comes down to procuring the ''right'' paper work.
It is not long since Foreign Minister Murray McCully embarked upon a slam dunk PR exercise which then blew up in the Government's face.
Talking tough over illegal fishing was not matched by actions when the suspects reply to boarding requests with a devastating ''No''.
The story of the offshore patrol vessel HMNZS Wellington and illegal fishing is well told and well represented in Otago Daily Times cartoons.
Far from demeaning our navy, it highlights how the war-fighting can-do spirit of Lord Nelson has been sucked drier than the current drought.
In 1801, Lord Nelson was ordered to withdraw from battle but instead raised his telescope to his blind eye and famously uttered: ''I really do not see the signal!''
Nelson won that battle but we have lost one with the illegal, unregulated and unreported (IUU) fishing pirates.
IUU fishing is worth upwards of $US23 billion ($NZ31.28 billion), involves up to 26 million tonnes of fish and offers horrific working conditions bordering on slavery.
The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organisation says it is, ''one of the greatest threats to sustainable fisheries and those whose lives and livelihoods depend on them''.
From the start, New Zealand First asked what the rules of engagement were for illegal fishing vessels.
They remain a mystery. Defence Minister Gerry Brownlee flippantly replied that he didn't want to risk war by firing one warning shot.
Sir, it is hard to do that when the ships have no nationality.
The way this story has changed, let alone the tightly scripted words of Wellington's captain on his return to Port Chalmers, belies the reality that the fisheries industry is livid over how easily these pirates have got away with it.
New Zealanders will expect prosecutions, given all the tough talk from ministers about collecting evidence and prosecuting these pirates.
So Minister McCully, it has now been a month, ''So, have you got them yet?''
We now know these trawlers, shock horror, lied about being Equatorial Guinean.
Gosh pirates being deceitful, perish the thought.
I doubt others will be beating a path to our door given we were made to look like fools.
More likely it will be the IUU fishing cowboys because they know this Government is not just gullible, it is weak.
Given these were ships without nationality, we had justification to board them under the law of the sea.
I imagine we could easily suspect them of other ''potential'' law of the sea breaches: narcotics, piracy and slavery come to mind.
We must also ask why it was acceptable to risk the lives of our sailors trying to board from RHIBs, in one video they were almost touching a trawler's hull, but it was too risky to fire a single 25mm round or machine gun burst across the bow?
Are our weapons that bad? Of course, this is assuming ammunition was aboard ship.
None of this puts New Zealand on a pedestal internationally because we are on the back foot and at the blunt edge of combating IUUs in the Southern Ocean.
And as for threatening the lawyers, please, that only heaps farce on to a debacle.
• Ron Mark is a former army officer and is New Zealand First's defence spokesman.
