If all else fails, try a dose of Hancock humour

Siberia has become Quarantine Island.

The number of visitors in the past couple of days to my little corner of the ODT newsroom has dropped off sharply as your snivelling wreck of a columnist has gradually succumbed to man-flu.

The cornucopia of pills and lozenges, vitamin C-this and echinacea-that, on my desk doesn't seem to have made any difference so far. The only thing that seems to have helped is paracetamol - mostly because it sends me to sleep.

Just to cheer myself up last night, I watched a 1960 episode of Hancock's Half Hour called ''The Cold'', when he was at the peak of his fame with the BBC and with writers Ray Galton and Alan Simpson.

Partner-in-crime Sid James picks up one of the glass bottles on the table and reads the label: ''Kough-it-up Kold Capsules, with a 'k'. Take 20 tablets every half an hour, an extra 20 before meals and a boxful before going to bed. Warning - it is dangerous to exceed the stated dose.''

James then goes through assorted lung syrups, flu elixirs, unguents and pills as Hancock explains the benefit of them all.

Hancock: ''And if you've still got a cold, then - there,'' as he puts another bottle on the table. James reads it: ''Take two aspirins in a glass of milk.''

What fantastic writing. I'm a Hancock, and Galton and Simpson, fan and love many of their scripts, but that goes beyond brilliance.

I don't have any of Hancock's remedies - they come from a time when opium was probably a key ingredient. I'm hoping what I've got will help and that today is the worst day. I may even try the Marmite and thinly sliced raw onion sandwiches one of my colleagues suggested.

I can't think straight, so heaven knows what I'm writing. Looking on the bright side, maybe it might make you laugh.

Repugnant lilies

After several days, we need to get this sorted. Anne Moir, of St Kilda, is probably still confused about the smelly blooms she has in her garden.

You'll remember Clare Fraser at the Dunedin Botanic Garden said the plant was most likely Dracunculus vulgaris, which is quite common in Dunedin and across the region.

Clare's view is backed up by John de Malmanche, of Balclutha, who says the plant is also called the ''voodoo lily'', ''black arum'' and ''dragon lily''.

John's photo, taken in late 2015, shows the plant growing in his daughter's Fendalton, Christchurch, garden.

''This particular plant is from the bulbs transplanted from my mother-in-law's garden in Christchurch.

''The original plant was from [prime minister] Sir Joseph Ward's old home in Merivale Lane, Christchurch. Marjorie, my mother-in-law, bought the house off the Ward family in about 1957.

''The bulbs have been planted and replanted a few times while moving house. Then, after a number of years, a beautiful two-foot long, large, velvet flower appeared.

''They were stunning but a little smelly. Our daughter thought she could explain the aroma to a neighbour and blame it on the rubbish or drains etc, only to find the neighbour belonged to the botanical society and was over the moon, and asked if she could advertise the flower to her members.''

Meridian work

Leonie Loeber, of Roslyn, Dunedin, was interested to read of the emails ODT journalist John Fridd received from Meridian Energy saying if for some reason they were not able to conduct or complete the work during a certain day, the alternative date would be the same as the original one.

''We can go one better,'' Leonie says. ''We are also having a power outage on February 27 from 8.15am to 8.25am and then another one on the same day from 4.30pm to 4.45pm.

''Just in case we didn't receive the notification for the first power outage, we received three separate letters (all separate envelopes). And for the second outage, we received five separate letters (again all separate envelopes).

''What a waste of paper and envelopes.

''They were emailed about their over-enthusiasm, but they weren't duly concerned. I just hope that we didn't receive a notification for another household which was incorrectly addressed.''

John, of Andersons Bay, says he does not believe Meridian has its wires crossed.

''Mine was like that last year. If you look at the list in the paper, many are like this. Don't know why.''

Too close for comfort

A reader emails about seemingly unlikely neighbours in Invercargill: ''Parking outside the Seriously Good Chocolate Company a few years ago, I noticed that Weight Watchers had their offices upstairs in the same building.''

Prototype cellphone

No thoughts on the framed photo brought in by Les Ramage, of Musselburgh, which appears to show Lord Montagu using a cellphone in his 1899 Daimler 12hp while the Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII) sits beside him? Any other such anachronisms out there?