Varsity finally got it done over AU Boys but only just, writes Paul Dwyer.
The wrap
The Broncos led for most of the game through their enterprising backline and new first five Zach Porter (unbelievably the Dream Team at the Eels let him go) kicked all the goals. But Varsity squeaked home late to remain unbeaten. Dunedin thrashed Kaik up on the High Veldt and nearly hit 50. The big Shark pack monstered the Kaik eight with Dunedin "Bovver Boys" Sam Anderson-Heather, Mark Grieve-Dunn and the "Bruise" Hame Toma leading the charge. Southern was unconvincing over Taieri but Mika Mafi got them home from No8. Southern remains unbeaten and the Eels are winless. Harbour, as expected, had too much firepower for GI boys out at the Toolbox and are well ensconced in the four at this early stage.
Player numbers
As promised I’ve done a lot of work on player numbers — I’ve counted the teams in the draw! Pirates have lost three teams and are down to a Prem 2 side and a women’s team. Dunedin has lost an open grade side. Harbour is down to two teams — prems and seniors. Alhambra Union has lost a Colts side. So six teams are missing, or roughly 180-200 players on last year. Only six clubs have a prem colts side and without one, putting a prem side on the paddock is extremely difficult, let me assure you. The Kaik prem 2 team defaulted its first game of the season to West Taieri, much to their chagrin, apparently. So the bottom line is things are not all that rosy down on the farm. I’ll keep a beady eye on developments and numbers over the next few weeks.
Portsmouth Dr
It is just me or are all "East Harbourians" as aggrieved as I am? Why is Portsmouth Dr now gridlocked for an hour every morning? Has Des Adamson, from the Dunedin City Council, attracted 2000 new commuters that I don’t know about? I know the traffic management team intensely dislikes motorists, thus the reason for forcing us on to bikes so our flash new cycle lanes will get some use. Somebody should tell them we are a city of hills. So I presume we are gridlocked because of the spurious extra sets of traffic lights we have in Portsmouth Dr. It would still be OK if they actually turned green occasionally for the 99.9% of traffic that is trying to get to work. It’s actually faster now to turn off on the side streets (but don’t tell anyone) and come back out on Strathallan.
East Harbourians, we need to protest. I’m a great fan of the ‘‘French Farmers’’. As soon as they have a grievance for anything — rain, stale toast, dodgy snails — they just get on their tractors and drive into town and barricade the place off. Should we be getting on our ride-ons, reel mowers and push mowers and blocking off all the side streets to make a point with our myopic councillors? I’m happy to vote for one who can sort it. Let me know your thoughts or protest ideas or am I just deluded?
Harty’s histrionics
Just when you thought it was safe ... Chris Hart referee supremo is back with more highlights. As the head honcho (refs) he knows all the rules but there could be a possible chink. He was a TJ last Wednesday night in the Sharks vs Ponies game and when the Sharks were given their first penalty try he stormed off round behind the posts with alarming alacrity to get ready for the conversion attempt. As everybody knows (not sure if I did) it’s an automatic seven-pointer these days, thus no kick required. Upon realising his error he sneaks surreptitiously back to the sideline hoping nobody noticed. Sorry, Harty, it was noted. He tried to tell me after the game he was just stretching a tight hammy! More soon.
The Form XV
After the first three rounds this is my first form XV of the year. I’ll update this periodically.
Tim Cossens (D), Jona Nareki (AU), Sala Halaleva (H), Leroy Van Dam (D), Josh Ioane (S), Zach Porter (AU), Josh Walden (S), Mika Mafi (S), James Tomkinson (H), Hame Toma (D), Sam Dickson (V), Harry Dodds (D), Benny Rumble (H), Seko Pole (H), Richard Te Nahu (GI).
Country rugby
Things going as expected in the north with the two heavies, Maheno and Old Boys, recording big wins. In the south, Clutha crushed Heriot and looks unbeatable but unbelievable worldbeaters Lawrence were knocked over by Crescent — it would have been an early night in the Valley for Willis and Jock! I’m not getting much info from down there, so to my spies, get your game face on.
Speaking of spies, one of my new informants is now apparently ‘‘KK’’ from Alex. Now, I don’t know who he is yet but I’m reliably informed he is the ‘‘go to guy’’ on Central rugby. Get your gossip to him and as the story goes he will get it to me. I’m holding my breath! Wakatipu, Cromwell and Arrowtown remain unbeaten after two rounds and the Maggots got a W in the column over Clyde. But no standouts as yet.
Some interesting bits
Dashing Des Smith is out on the campaign trail as ORFU president. He’s already been to the White Horse game at Maggotville (Ranfurly), Zingari v Southern, OBHS v King’s, Green Island v Harbour and he found time to have a little celebration up at Kaik recently to thank his mates re getting his gong in the new year. Not sure what it was called but you don’t have to call him sir yet, apparently. Well done, big fella — couldn’t have gone to a better bloke. Des didn’t read the fine print though. Something about being president for life if you get the silverware. There was a wee whisper that ‘‘Moose’’, the Highlanders manager, got his watch nicked on the sidelines of the Hurricanes game and Nugget was dragged 10 minutes early in that game. Browny nearly swallowed his awful ‘‘Andy Capp’’ or was it a beret?
This weekend
Destroyed Harty last weekend so the unbeaten run marches relentlessly on. Up against Richard Kinley, the ‘‘top dog’’ at the union, so let’s be honest, another cakewalk. Southern (12-) is away to AU this weekend at the Pony Pit and should go four from four but the Ponies are sick of the nearly tag and will go close. Harbour (12-) is at home at the Lobster Pot and take on Kaik.
The Hawks should continue on their winning way but I’m expecting more resolve from the mountain dwellers. Dunedin (13+) should be too big, too strong at Bastion Point over Zingers after the confidence-builder over Kaik. In the battle of the plains it’s Taieri (12-) up against GI at the Eelpit and with home advantage it should get it done, but boy, what an upset it would be.
Late mail
I was down in Hokonui last weekend and they are miles from a watering hole but they’re nothing if not inventive — they’ve made their own bar four-wheel drive (see photo above). Nice work, lads.
