For All Blacks halfback Aaron Smith he admits the emotion after the drawn test series with the British and Irish Lions was one he had not experienced before.
''It felt a bit weird. Usually you come out of those feeling pretty good. But yeah, a month's work and to come out with a draw. It is a bit of an awkward thing,'' Smith said.
''If you lose, you are not good enough. If you win, all that hard work that you did and sacrifices you did was worth it. But to walk away with a draw was a weird feeling.
''I'm glad I'm back at the Highlanders and can start running round and run off the steam over it. But yeah, when you play for the All Blacks and the Lions get brought up it will be a little bit of a sore point forever.
''There was six to eight months and prep work and all those little extra things to make the All Blacks. Then [you] get three chances to play against them. I was very happy with that. But that feeling I got at Eden Park at the end there - that unknown. When you lose a game you can say they were the better side and took their chances but a draw - it was just unsure.''
The halfback ran himself into the ground in the tough series and when taken off in the dying minutes of the decider the tank was empty.
''There was the Samoan game and then three big tests. You give it everything, a month's work to go down to that point. I was buggered but I would have done more to win.''
Smith said the best way to put that behind him was to get back to the Highlanders and the training paddock.
''It is great being back in the environment. I came back on Thursday and Friday. It is a really fun place to be and we are really lucky here.''
So next on the assignment list for Smith is the Crusaders in Christchurch on Saturday in the first week of the playoffs. He is licking his lips in anticipation.
''You play all year to get to these situations. But at the same time it is a reflective time too. All the hard work and pre-season. We had a bit of a slow start but we were able to get on a bit of a roll. So I'm glad it is finally here and we are just blessed to be in the playoffs.''
Smith was unlikely to follow his namesake and All Black, Ben, into taking a sabbatical.
''All the rugby I have played he [Ben Smith] has played alongside me. Every time I have seen a player go away they have come back great.
''When I was going for my contract stuff I got a delayed comeback in a pre-season, so I can come back a bit later like Reado [Kieran Read] did this year.
''The end of year tour is always quite fun. But you are looking at family photos and that and they are in summer holidays and you are in 8degC in Scotland. They are having barbecues - you start thinking, I just want to get home.''