In 2021, Cherina and Rob Gray’s world turned upside down when their son Dean drowned while on a camping trip with friends.
But that wasn’t the only thing that has haunted the family.
Scrolling through her son’s messages, Cherina’s heart stopped when she came across a disturbing text chain between Dean and his then 49-year-old school teacher.
Between April and July 2013, when her son was 17, there was a range of texts between the pair. Originally they were innocent enough.
They initially discussed school where she praised Dean for his results. But over time the conversations crossed the line.
In it, the mum described the texts as grooming, which started as suggestive emojis before escalating into love messages.
“It becomes more and more regular,” Cherina told The Sydney Morning Herald.
“They are communicating a lot each day and it’s just subtly coming in a little kiss or a little heart or a wink and things like that.
“Can you imagine what it’s like for a mother to read? I didn’t want to read through that – but I wanted to know what was there.
“This is not just about a young boy having a fling with a teacher; this is definite grooming and abuse – abuse of power that someone has done in the most disgusting way.”
The texts from the teacher say “love ya Dean” before the then 17-year-old responded writing “marry me”.
She responded typing: “Ok when I get out of jail for corrupting you.” He responded, saying “Can’t corrupt a bada**”.
The then 49-year-old responded back: “I know I know. No a defence I’d be able to use tho. I’ll be sure to tell em that as they lock me up”.
In other messages she sent heart emojis.
She also wrote that she was “so jealous” of other girls that “can just ring you” and “go ‘come over’”.
He then responded saying he wasn’t interested in them, before the teacher declared: “I so love you”.
She also acknowledged the age gap in one message, writing: “49 yr olds don’t go around falling in luv [sic] with 17 yr olds.”
After Dean hinted it is because they connect and “get along”, she said “we do, totally” and that they were on the same page.”
Messages between the teenage Dean and his teacher revealed that the pair talked about personal life events and made plans to meet up, with the teacher even offering him special access to the school gym so he could work out.
The pair talked about giving nicknames to each other.
When he texted her saying “Miss?” she responded, writing: “But don’t you think it makes me sound a bit paedophily [sic],” she wrote.
Things then came to a sudden end when a person claiming to be the teacher’s husband wrote a threatening message to Dean.
“Don’t you dare speak to my wife again, let alone put your dirty little hands on her body,” it read.
“I know what happened.”
Following Dean’s 18th birthday, he left high school where he met his first girlfriend, Caitlyn Butler.
Speaking to NBN News, Butler claimed she was made aware of the incident during a game of ‘truth or dare’.
“She twisted him and made him feel important to get to him, and put him up on a pedestal and made him feel like it was OK what she was doing to him,” she said.
“[In a game of truth or dare] he said, ‘I slept with one of my school teachers’, and the whole room went quiet,” she said.
“Dean was young, he didn’t know right from wrong. It was more like, ‘how cool is this? I’m banging my teacher’”.
In 2016, Dean’s parents then found out about the alleged abuse and made a complaint to the Police and Education Department.
However, at the time, they didn’t know the text messages existed.
An investigation concluded there was “insufficient evidence”.
During the investigation, the teacher at the centre of the case was promoted at another high school and was giving speeches at public events about health and safety of children in her care.
Months following his death in 2021, Cherina scrolled through the text messages on his phone, which is when she made the sickening discovery.
She spent an entire day looking through the messages in horror; taking screenshots of all of them to ensure they would not disappear.
Armed with new evidence, she went back to the police and the Education Department.
Within two days the teacher was stood down. However, Cherina was not happy as it took over three months for the police to collect evidence from his phone.
A local MP has said if the investigation finds there was misconduct then appropriate action would be taken.
Despite this, Cherina isn’t holding out hope.
“I think … we would have liked a criminal conviction but we will have to take the blows with the wins,” Cherina said.
“But if she can be publicly named so that people know what she has done and she’s removed from her work, then that is still a victory. That would be a victory for our son.”
A spokesperson from the NSW Department of Education confirmed that they had resumed the investigation into this matter.
SEXUAL HARM
Sexual harm - Where to get help If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111. If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7: • Call 0800 044 334 • Text 4334 • Email support@safetotalk.nz • For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
