For years I thought a man cave was a floating thing, a space where a man could be his inane onanistic self.
Dazed and Confused
Another birthday gone. A few who thought they were close personal friends, and until last Thursday they assuredly were that, mentioned how old they thought I was, which is hardly something you say to someone on their birthday, is it?
"Art is a hard mistress, and there is no art quite so hard as that of being a wife." Ah, you will be saying, is there a new Leonard Cohen album out?
A close friend of mine from Sydney, a painter, not a house painter, though I would be out of order if I said he couldn't paint a house, but you know, a noted painter, and one who is very serious about his art, has sent me some astounding information of an exhibition in London, which opens today.
Natasha's departure from Coronation Street a month ago remains the finest thing shown on television so far this year.
Howls of protest greeted my recent Jayne Mansfield column. It is only now I have plucked up the courage to come out from behind the sofa and leave the house.
In the mansion-construction one-upmanship that swept through Beverly Hills in the early 20th century, each famous actor trying to appear the richest and best, there was arguably none finer, none more outrageous, than Buster Keaton's 10,000sq ft Mediterranean palazzo.
The feature in this paper last week on the Sisyphean nature of women's fashion retail in Dunedin was a good read, but it incomprehensibly missed the one enormous contribution these stores make, that of assisting the maturity of a man. Every year, the World Health Organisation figures paint the same picture - the extent to which idiot man has grown up can only be measured by how he handles himself in a women's fashion store.
Most rational thinkers are fully aware of the Mendelian Laws of Heredity, the once (1865) controversial but now accepted theory of how powerfully we are controlled by inherited genes. Far fewer are aware of a side-dabble the great man toyed with back then (1861), Mendel's Law of Complementary Intelligence.
Most rational thinkers would agree the four most significant inventions of the past 500 years have been Paul Crowther's Hot Cake guitar effects box, the thing, probably a lever, that keeps planes in the air so they won't fall on the ground, chocolate, and peanut butter.
Oscar Wilde said, and I am paraphrasing, a spoonful of routine makes the medicine go down, the medicine go down. The refurbished Whitcoulls in George St have whanged an island right into the middle of the store, and it has disturbed my Whitcoulls routine something terrible.
There has been loose talk around the town in recent years that South Dunedin is no longer a retail hub, that something needs to be done to bring it back to the halcyon 1970s.
When I went to university, they paid ME to be there. Three times a year I received a cheque, which was promptly spent on wild living.
Mistakes, or as behavioural psychologists are wont to call them, cockups, are just mistakes. Or cockups. Nothing more.
Most rational thinkers would agree that the mark of a man is his ability to repeatedly purchase useless objects.