Most rational thinkers would agree the main reason real estate is currently dormant is because open homes insist on punters taking their shoes off at the door.
Dazed and Confused
In a CV so small even footprints left by an ant dripping in ink would seem large, one honour just about turned my whole empty page around - the editorship of the student newspaper Critic.
My demands in hair shampoo are tiny. I require only that the shampoo makes the hair soft and fluffy to stop landing magpies eating their way through to the brain.
Some columns scream out for illustrative backup, something that proves the column is actually based on real life and not amphetaminist bollocks. This is one of those. Somewhere out there lies the evidence I need to prove this outrageous tale is true.
A friend of mine, let's just call her someone who is providing actors for the upcoming movie Mister Pip, is providing actors for the upcoming movie Mister Pip. I have told her I am available.
The news that Meatloaf, and excuse me a minute while I bow in reverence, will not be performing at the Forsyth Barr Stadium later this year because Elton John wants to be first, has driven me down into an emotional nadir from which I may never recover.