The very best people have dark and shameful secrets.
It is disturbing that in modern-day Dunedin - post-Reformation, post-Renaissance, following the Age of Reason, the Age of Enlightenment, and even the great vowel shift that shook the pronunciation of the English language to its core from 1450 to 1750 - some people are still unaware a new series of Curb Your Enthusiasm is well under way on TV2.
I've always done my best to steer clear of psychiatrists.
There are various ways to make a television show a sure thing in the success stakes.
On the dullest, most atrocious of television-watching nights, when reality shows about singing, dancing or cooking drift endlessly into the night, crime and investigation shows are a sort of last hope for something worth watching.
There is, in my mind at least, a strong similarity between Dunedin and the fictional town of Royston Vasey, the centre of the dark dealings of The League of Gentlemen.
It might surprise you to known how many words rhyme with Botox.
Here is a joke about the Greek economy: Q. Why did Greece fail to get the latest instalment of European Union aid? A. Because no-one in Greece works long enough to complete the application form.
The opening shot of a piece of television says much about what will unfurl as scene one becomes two, three, four, five and onward as storylines twist, heave and stutter forwards in a headlong rush to The End.
1979 was an unpleasant year.
The Dark Ages was a time cheerfully bereft of the complex, almost metaphysical questions television production has introduced to bewilder mankind.
In 1680, Charles II had reigned over England for 20 years.
There are two sorts of people in this world: cat people and dog people.
John Campbell, bless his heart, is a fellow with plenty of fine thoughts.
South London - I don't know it terribly well, to be honest, but I understand from the first episode of three-part series Capital the house prices are well out of order.
The rich are bad, the poor are good, we are all obsessed with blind dates and clothes are really important.
The show of the moment, the only one that grips me tightly and drags me on a difficult and confusing ride to a place I'm not sure even exists, is 'The Affair'.
If you saw yourself being interviewed on television - not last week, but 40 years in the past - what might your reaction be? It is a fascinating question, and one I'm sure you have asked yourself many times.
Steve Buscemi has been one of my favourite actors for some time.