As Dunedin's only antediluvian television reviewer, I am often showered with unsolicited gifts, which I file in a drawer with a piece of yellowing paper with the word "payola" written on it stuck to the front.
Here is a joke about the Greek economy: Q. Why did Greece fail to get the latest instalment of European Union aid? A. Because no-one in Greece works long enough to complete the application form.
It used to be shapes, but now it's colour.
Much of my early life was spent travelling.
Crownies is an Australian television series.
There is a conundrum that raises its ugly little head early in the first episode of series 5 of Lewis.
Sometimes - usually, in fact - it is important to apportion blame.
Gwendelbum is the illegitimate daughter of Lord Oedipus and Lady Probably-His-Sister (or similar) in the latest sex, violence and incest-fuelled X-rated fantasy romp set to stun faint-hearted Dunedin television viewers.
Of all foreign types, the Welsh are among the most difficult to dislike.
These are the things that - until recently - I knew about Proms: Proms are something to do with music, probably classical, and they are held in concert halls.
There was a runner in the women's 100m final who exemplified everything that is good about the Olympics.
There are times when television is of such a high quality, the rest of one's life becomes little more than an annoying distraction.
Most of you, I'm sure, when you think of the 1960s, - if you think of them at all - think of a ghastly decade ruined by hippies.
The past week has been a traumatic one in the life of D. Charles Loughrey.