Life Matters: How to master change

Claire Porima
Claire Porima
In this occasional series, Claire Porima, an expert in coaching for success, will give you some really simple guidelines for life matters. In this four-part series "Working Life Matters", you will develop skills to improve your everyday working life.

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Change Matters - Master It!

Summer is a good time to reflect on the recent year and plan what you want the next year to bring - become a Change Master and 2013 will start off fresher and brighter.

Mastering change is one of the keys to success. How you respond to change - accept or reject it, go towards or away from it - determines whether you get stuck in situations, or if you allow healthy growth and personal development into your life. We all know that without change there is no growth. Think about it: if our body didn't change, we wouldn't grow. If our brain isn't learning new stuff, we can't do new things. If we are resistant to change, we cannot flourish.

You will know someone who is stuck in change misery: they tell the same story over and over again, living in the past, or seeming to wallow in a painful change situation without doing anything about it. You will also know people in similar situations that they master gracefully - even if the emotions are huge and the situation distressing or tragic.

The people in this second group are Change Masters and will have many of the Change Skills that make them happier in life. Mastering change, and accepting that sometimes change is painful, means mastering these key life skills.

Right now you, or someone you know, is quite likely in the middle of one of the following change cycles:

- you are wanting to make a change in your life (you are ready to return to work, or retire, or you aren't happy in your current role;
- your relationship is not satisfying; there's no sense of purpose in your life; you don't like where you live;
- your health, fitness and wellbeing are worrying; you have too little, or too much, going on in your life)
- you have had a change happen to you in some part of your life (a relationship matter; a diagnosis; loss of or a new job; a promotion/a redundancy; loss of someone you love; shifted house, city, country; had a baby or an older child is leaving home)
- you are helping someone else go through a change

The first of the Change Mastery Skills is: Write!

Over this summer holiday break, sit with pens and paper (not a keyboard: the act of writing itself is important) and write your Change Resume.

Head up the page, then write down every single change that you have ever gone through, in no particular order - cover the page! I guarantee you will have 20 changes within 15 minutes. Don't stop writing. There will be more, both small and large.

Then select three life changes and write:

  • What you learned 
  • A key skill or quality that came from the change 
  • The rewards and the losses 
  • The positive and negative emotions

Reflect on your Change Resume as you plan for 2013. What skills, qualities, and experiences do you want to build on in the year ahead?

By assessing the incredible changes you've already mastered in your life, you can apply what you know now to how you can create success in the future. Ask others what is the best and the worst change they've ever been through. Then ask what they learned from it. Talk about the changes you want to make with a trusted person, or engage a coach to explore Change Matters in a confidential, non-judgmental space. One coaching conversation can lead to massive new awareness, and new and creative ways of mastering change.

All the best for 2013!

To learn more, visit my website: www.tearapathwayslifecoaching.co.nz