Spring has sprung and with it the realisation hiding the
winter weight under puffer jackets is no longer an option.
After several attempts at getting fit, and multiple promises
to maintain it, Otago Daily Times and Queenstown
Times bureau chief Tracey Roxburgh has begun another
fitness challenge: Alpine Health and Fitness' Revive
Dear diary ...
Saturday, September 22
Had to stand on the scales again.
It was soul-destroying.
Planned to go to stupidmarket and purchase healthy food
immediately after this horrific experience and then go for a
walk so I felt better about myself.
Instead, went out for lunch with friend, ate my food and half
of hers ... and then played Pub Golf.
Figured this would be my last weekend of freedom for three
months, so might as well make it count.
Sunday, September 23
I wish never to drink alcohol again.
Consumed 1.5 litres of water before noon ... and went to the
That is not a good sign.
Watched Crossfit games on telly and used it as motivation.
Firmly believe post-challenge I could be a contender in 2013.
Have odd feeling: excitement mixed with panic, like a
combination of Christmas Eve and being on death row ... or
the night before you go into rehab.
Went for walk today, was puffed after 10 minutes and had to
fix socks as pretence for having a wee break.
Took Gym Buddy to stupidmarket and spent EXTORTIONATE amount
on healthy food (why is good food so much more expensive than
Then force-fed myself bad food to ensure I feel so disgusting
tomorrow I will be even more determined to sort myself out.
And had last glass of wine (just to make absolutely certain I
wouldn't miss it).
Monday, September 24
Plan worked: woke up at 4am in a panic thinking I'd slept
through my alarm - felt revolting.
By 6am was in exercise ensemble and at the gym to meet
Goal of being in Crossfit games 2013 now gone: Haylee put me
through a fitness test ...managed one sit-up.
Thirty minutes later muscles were a bit shaky and ankles
quite sore; in fact, they gave out on me three times while
By 8.25am was ready for bed.
Quickly lost count of the number of bathroom breaks today.
Think if I continue drinking H2O at this rate I will be
largely responsible for Wakatipu drought.
On upside, am certain I must have clocked up at least 2km
walking to and from bathroom.
Had lyrics to Things Can Only Get Better running through my
head all day (don't actually know any other words to that
song, so it very quickly became annoying).
Was excited to meet my fellow Revive team-mates tonight -
even more so to see some familiar faces ... Dare I say I
think this is going to be fun?!
Tuesday, September 25
Am convinced wine fairy crept into room last night and poured
bottle of vino down my throat during nine hours of slumber.
Woke feeling hungover.
Totally unfair given the most exciting beverage I consumed
yesterday was a green tea with strawberry.
Think all the toxins are running to my brain in an effort to
avoid, um, excretion.
Also have much trepidation about how body will cope with
future physical exertion given stomach muscles hurt from that
one sit-up and other limbs are also quite ouchy.
Receptionist Liz says my "eyes look better" ... Eyes are not
Walked up Tobin's Track this evening with Gym Buddies. Was
knackered after two minutes.
By the time I reached summit, world was spinning much faster
than it should be.
Wednesday, September 26
Positive: hangover gone.
Negative: had to buy control-top underwear today.
They fall short of passion-killer granny pants, Diary, but
Am attending wedding this weekend and do not fancy sucking in
stomach all day and night.
Was somewhat disheartening to buy this variety of underwear,
but after session with Haylee today I have faith they will
soon become surplus to requirements.
Haylee made me go for wee jog on treadmill.
Has been about 10 years since my last jogging on treadmill
and more than two years since jogging anywhere else.
Surprisingly, wasn't too bad.
However, by 10am had contemplated contacting council to see
if I could get temporary disabled car-parking pass.
Got very, very tired this afternoon, Diary, so tired normal
brain function ceased.
Went to gym, put card through swiper and waited to hear
splash noise ... There was no noise.
Man behind reception desk had funny look on his face.
Stared at him for a moment and then he politely told me I
swiped my card through the eftpos machine.
Got home, flatmate went into kitchen and said "Sorry".
Looked to see why she was apologising.
She was eating a Moro bar.
She tried to tell me I don't like them (I DO LIKE THEM,
So I waved lovely bag of nuts and berries in her face which
she is not allowed to have.
She is allergic to nuts.
Thursday, September 27
Dastardly wine fairy paid me another visit last night.
Am going to leave her a strongly-worded letter.
Had much difficulty getting out of bed.
Was certain at any moment muscle behind right knee was going
to ping apart ... Would probably have provided some relief
from the pain.
Had proper cowboy swagger today, caused primarily by
throbbing in saddlebags region every time I moved.
Receptionist Liz tried very hard not to laugh at me before
asking if I had weed myself.
Found holding sore muscles while walking offered some relief
... but this was not at all appropriate.
Instead resorted to Geisha-style shuffling.
Friday, September 28
Normal walking style (almost) returned today.
I fear this will be short-lived given the RPM class I
completed this evening.
Was my first RPM class in new studio ... which opened in May.
Haylee requested I do at least two sessions of at least an
hour's cardio before Monday.
She says RPM class is fine, but have to add on another 15
minutes at the end as class is "only 44 minutes" of
Forced myself to do some more jogging while envisioning fat
cells curling up and screaming before bursting into flames;
you know, like vampires in the sun, while little voice inside
my head kept chanting "die, die, die".
Was quite enjoyable, actually.
Week one almost over and it really wasn't so bad, only 77
days to go ... Only.