The morning sun shone down on to the acceptance letter as it sat on the dining room table.
I looked back with my lips stretched into the widest smile I had ever done.
The more ecstatic I became, the more excitedly I danced around the house playing hide and seek with my keys.
My dream of going to an Ivy League university like Yale was finally coming true.
It was late evening when I finally arrived at the hospital.
The moon cast a light glow on to the car park. I swung open the car door and slid over the bonnet of the car, acceptance letter in hand.
I bounded up the stairs to the hospital with glee - elated, euphoric, excited to tell my father the excellent news.
As I stood in the elevator looking into my reflection, I could already picture his face glowing like a pregnant lady's.
But of course I knew this was unrealistic, since his kidney failure last year and being put on dialysis.
He looked as though a death-eater had come along and sucked all his life and happiness out of him.
He lost his ability to have his pregnant-lady glow.
He coughed and spluttered as he sat up in his hospital bed to greet me.‘‘Sarah, honey,'' he spoke in a quiet gravelly voice.
I tapped my foot on the linoleum with thrill as I thrust my arm out with the acceptance letter, towards his face.
His reaction was not what I had originally expected it to be, nor anything close to it.
He quickly scanned it and turned it over on to his lap.
My stomach sank down into the quicksand of my other organs.
‘‘Sarah, honey. You know I'm proud of you and want you to go, but I don't think we have the money for an Ivy League school right now.''
I slumped down in the chair next to him.
‘‘We just can't afford it with all of these medical bills. I know Yale is your dream school, but I think a community college would be better for us right now.
‘‘Plus, it's right around the corner, so you could come visit me more often.''
I slowly rose from my chair like a waking dragon as the anger built up inside me.
‘‘What do you mean us?'' I screeched.
The angrier I became about the situation, the more harshly I spoke.
‘‘Just because you got sick, it doesn't mean the world now revolves around you,'' I hissed at him.
I slumped back down into the seat beside him, emotionally exhausted.
I couldn't leave our relationship like this. I had learnt by now my father was not gifted with the ability to forgive with ease.
‘‘You know, Dad, it would be nice to be closer to you. But this is an opportunity of a lifetime,'' I whispered softly.
‘‘You're right. There really isn't much left of me anyway, you know. I was talking to a nurse this morning about where the guy next to me had gone, if he had recovered or not.
‘‘And she told me he decided life wasn't really worth it if all you're doing is sitting in a bed.
‘‘I have to agree with him,'' he whispered back, slowly trying to collect his thoughts and say them in a way I might understand his position on things.
‘‘Dad, please.''
My voice cracked as a tear rolled down my check.
‘‘You can't leave me,'' I whispered.
'‘But it would mean you got the best education available. And that's all I want for you.
‘‘I want you to have what I never did. A higher education. My life isn't worth living if all I'm doing is sitting in this damn bed.
‘‘No-one visits me but you, and when you go off to Yale, I won't even have you.''
‘‘Are you sure that's what you want?''
My voice trailed off as I started to think about all our fond memories together, how I had been so scared that first day of school as he held my little hand and walked me into class.
‘‘I'm no longer of use. I would rather donate my organs so that someone else can live a full life. I already have.''
His voice croaked as he held back his tears.
The decision had been finalised a week later.
He whispered, ‘‘Let your life go on without me''.
His eyes glazed over as he drifted off like a boat into the horizon.
Falling deep into an eternal sleep.
-By Krystal Lamsdale - Year 11, Taieri College
