Zingers predictably stuck it to Pirates to draw well clear of AU and Pirates is a long and lonely last.
An understrength Harbour outfit beat a similarly understrength AU to confirm it will finish second in the four, regardless of what happens over next four weeks.
AU sits second-last and four back on the rails.
Varsity was too good out wide for Dunedin and beat it by eight.
Varsity has pretty much confirmed top spot in the four and the TAB would take it out of the betting as the side is unbeatable this year.
The Sharks' season hangs on a knife edge.
Southern stormed home late over Taieri and is only three points out of the four and closing fast.
Taieri's season is over.
Kaik won the crucial game at the Toolbox over GI and now sits third and can smell a top-four finish.
GI's season is also over but it's been a hell of a ride.
Highlanders need GPS
As your intrepid columnist, I'm always on the lookout for the eerie, the odd, the unexplainable, the controversial, the quirky - and Christchurch club rugby is bizarre!
Highlander Rob Thompson, who is on the outer with the "heavies'' at headquarters, has been suiting up for the Sharks recently.
He goes home to Christchurch and suits up for Linwood last week and scores the winning try over HSOB - doesn't sound that unusual?!
Turns out he played for HSOB last year and is still registered as one of theirs! I can see that result being overturned.
I also spotted Taieri and Highlanders flanker James Lentjes turned out for Varsity in the same comp and starred, scoring a try and setting one up.
I doubt "Roly'' and the Eels gave him a transfer for the weekend and I wonder if "Cory B'' and Otago know about it.
Another result could be overturned by playing an unregistered player.
Perhaps I should be commenting on that comp - the lunatics are certainly in charge of that asylum!
Des, are you doing enough?
Now I got a copy recently of a newsletter ORFU president Des Smith has been sending out to justify his existence.
I'm not sure he is busy enough - get a load of the highlights.
1) Last Wednesday watched Taieri College play South Otago in Mosgiel.
2) On Friday attended Otago Secondary Schools' council meeting in Dunedin.
3) On Saturday attended the Neil Purvis Memorial match in Tarras between Upper Clutha and Wakatipu.
By the way, prior to that attended the Mt Aspiring v Johnnies game in Wanaka (pssst, I hear Johnnies won by 100 - keep it quiet). 4)
On Sunday, attended a camp of 70 country players (14-18 years) that "Cory B'' and his crew were running.
Des did nothing on the Thursday - unacceptable!
Mate, I hope they are paying you petrol money.
Good on ya, mate.
I'll talk to "Snowy'' from Speight's to send you some goodies as volunteer of the year.
It's the least I can do.
The Neil Purvis
Good to see Ben Purvis, the captain and "son of'', led his Upper Clutha side to a commanding victory over the Wakatipu boys at Neil's old stomping ground of Tarras.
It's a family affair as older brother Sam (the freak) is the manager and sister Georgie is the secretary of the club.
Neil's wife, Lesley, will, of course, just be telling them all what to do in her own inimitable style.
Great work, guys.
I know Neil will be looking down from the big Merino Drive in the sky with a resplendent smile on his pudgy dial.
Really, Steve?
I see Steve Hepburn, the sports editor of the old girl (ODT) said we should forgive Wayne Barnes for his 2007 quarterfinal and that he is a good referee.
I beg to differ.
Forget about the 2007 performance (touch judge Kaplan missed the passes) even if it was substandard.
This guy is just incompetent.
How much offside play at the ruck did he miss at the weekend?
The Welsh halfback spent most of his time inside Aaron Smith's shorts.
The acting half was taken out at the ruck numerous times.
Tacklers didn't roll away.
This is the stuff that Barnes misses that is unacceptable.
The "bread and butter'' stuff when unpoliced ruins the game.
As for overruling the TMO, that is just grandstanding - pure and simple.
But you gotta love those Aussie commentators.
England up by 14 over Aussie and Kearnsy chips in with "we're not out of it, two tries and we win this thing'' - priceless.
Comings and goings
The Clutha club surprised "Crazy'' (Dave Latta) on Saturday night when they presented him with life membership.
He was speechless apparently and that doesn't happen often!
Great decision, guys.
Couldn't happen to a better bloke.
I hear Otago coach "Cory B'', has lured Hawke's Bay halfback Johnathon Ruru to push his claim for the NPC side - and the good news is he's playing for Pirates - good work.
Otago midfielder Mike Collins is back from overseas to help out the beleaguered Eels.
I also hear Kieran Moffat, who played for Southland but has been injured all year, may also be back for the Eels - a little too late perhaps?
On the down side, Willis Scott got KOed last week and could be gone for a while Southern No8 Mika Mafi has disappeared, I hear.
I understand he missed out on an NPC contract this year and was last seen scampering to the South Seas Isles.
Hawks halfback Tala Fagasoaia may get a few weeks' holiday after a meltdown early in the second half against the Broncos at the Pony Pit.
Apparently he got hit late, took exception and threw a few haymakers.
Ref Llewellyn Smart from Northland showed him a red card and, as he was walking off, the Broncos forwards gave him a "polite'' send off.
He came storming back for "round 2''.
Ref Llewellyn this time literally sent him to the showers, as he was now persona non grata on the sidelines.
I'm sure I've already talked about Harbour discipline this year!
This weekend
The pain is too much - the streak is over after 12 glorious weeks. Lost badly to Kelvy from the Alehouse but to be fair, I did predict it.
Anyway, we move on.
Up against Mark Cameron, the best Speight's Alehouse chef in the country, or the longest serving, at least!
Looking at his picks, I think I'm toast two weeks in a row. Kaik (12-) should be too strong at the high veldt for the Hawks, who are struggling to field a team.
The Magpies (13+) just win big over the Onion to go back into the four.
The Eels should comfortably account for the Sharks (12-) at the Elver Bowl.
The Sharks look understrength at the wrong time of the season and the red-neck home supporters may even talk to me civilly out there tomorrow if that happens, but I'll take the Sharks unders, because I'm a masochist.
The Spannerheads visit Zingers at Boothill and should win but it will be close, considering there are plenty of Highlanders in both sides.
Varsity (13+) plays Pirates so I needn't say any more!
The late mail
Are these itinerant geese really worth all headlines?
Are you as sick of it as me?
Abramovich, can you give them a tie and a job each at Chipmunks, so we can make this go away?
- Paul Dwyer
