Warning: This article discusses miscarriage, stillbirth and depression
Since posting, the couple has received a wave of empathy in response.
“From the comments on my post and the overwhelming support we have had I feel it’s important to educate myself more and provide help and resources to those who are also walking this path,” Crossman, who is known for her role as Sophie McKay on Shortland Street, told the New Zealand Herald.
“It’s new territory for us and so many other couples have shared their stories too, which has been so kind and generous.”
While she declined to comment more at this stage — Crossman says they plan to seek professional help in processing this — she intends to share her “journey of healing” so others can benefit.
“I have a responsibility to take what I learn in this next chapter and make those tools available to others,” she shared in the post on Instagram.
This isn’t the first time that Crossman has been candid about her personal struggles and sought to use her audience to raise awareness, with the actor sharing her journey with depression and anxiety on her podcast Pretty Depressed, something she mentioned on Instagram.
“It sounds like there is a lot of people who walk this path behind closed doors.”
Pregnancy loss is far from uncommon in Aotearoa.
The Ministry of Health estimates 1-2 out of every 10 pregnancies end in a miscarriage (categorised as a loss before 20 weeks) and between 7500 to 14,750 occur every year. The New Zealand College of Midwives puts the figure at around one in four.
Encouraging open discussion about miscarriage and stillbirth is gaining traction, and breaking down the stigma and shame around miscarriages and stillbirths is becoming more common for household names, with many looking to use their profile and dedicated audience to raise awareness.
Earlier this year, Hayley Holt discussed her experience with pregnancy loss - the first occurring in the third trimester, and another at 10 weeks - in her book Second Chances: Facing My Demons and Finding a Better Me.
In June Jamiee Lupton, Monday Haircare co-founder, talked to NZ Herald about suffering pregnancy loss at 24 weeks, after conceiving via the gruelling process of IVF.
Last year radio star Laua McGoldrick appeared on the inaugural episode of NZ Herald podcast One Day You’ll Thank Me to share her struggles with fertility and pregnancy loss.
Broadcaster Stacey Morrison, journalist Miriamo Kamo and The Casketeers star Kaiora Tipene all shared their own experiences in 2020 as part of NZ Herald series Misconceptions.
Legislation is improving too; in 2021, Parliament passed the member’s bill to give parents three days of bereavement leave after a miscarriage or stillbirth.
- If you think you may be having a miscarriage, contact your lead maternity carer - this may be a midwife or your GP. Alternatively, call Healthline free on 0800 611 116, or visit your local Urgent Medical Centre or hospital
- Visit the Miscarriage Support website or join the Facebook group.
- Visit the Sands website. Sands supports parents and families who have experienced the death of a baby.
- Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.