Real men change nappies

Photo by Stephen Jaquiery.
Photo by Stephen Jaquiery.

Corey Bryan (left), Jason Lapthorne, Simon Hales (with 6-month-old daughter Charlotte) and Jared Van Der Laan (with 18-month-old son Seth) have earned their Father's Day rewards this year.

They are members of the men's branch of the Tapanui Plunket Group. And while the group may still be in its infancy, its vice-president, Simon Hales, says he's proud to be involved with the parenting of Charlotte.

''Traditionally, men don't like walking through that [Plunket] door, because it's a room full of women, but I've got thick skin,'' Mr Hales said.

Tapanui is the second Plunket group in the country to start a fathers' group. Liam O'Sullivan started the first Plunket all-dads group in Invercargill in May this year.

''Guys look after babies differently,'' Mr Hales said.

''It's much more common to be more laid-back with the kids.

''I'm quite happy walking around with her on my shoulder, fireman carrying her, pushing the trolley, it doesn't bother me.

''They don't make a manly baby bag, do they, eh?' he joked.

Jared Van Der Laan, whose wife, Chrissy, is the president of Plunket in Tapanui, says he's always believed a man's contribution to parenting extended beyond the donation of biological matter.

His daughter Emma-Rose (4) has stroked the heads of ewes as they gave birth on her grandfather's farm.

He said there's too much ''stereotyping'' around men's and women's traditional roles and he happily brings his son Seth (18 months) to the dads' group.

''As soon as they pop out, I change nappies and feed them ... I've got mates who wait until their kids are 3 before they change a nappy, wouldn't feed them a bottle - nothing,'' he said.

Mrs Van Der Laan said 15 to 20 mothers got involved in Plunket groups every year in the West Otago town and she never knew of a man setting foot in the building before the five men who form the dads' group got on board.

She wondered if it was time women allowed men to take on more parenting responsibility.

''It depends on the woman,'' Mrs Van Der Laan said.

''She's got to be able to confidently hand over the reins, partially, as well. A lot don't want to. They're brought up that the women do this.''

There's no road map for fathering, Mr Hales said: ''You're learning as you go.''

And although there was the occasional snicker when the group started, with another child on the way, Mr Hales knows he's going to have his hands full.

At least two men in the group are single fathers who became involved in order to get support from other fathers.

The meetings are still informal at Tapanui, but the fathers have plans to introduce their toddlers to farm safety.

 

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