The noisy caveman

Message in a bubble is a regular lockdown journey with Star Media editor in chief Barry Clarke.

I’m a noise polluter and a caveman, or so I have been told.

That’s the message from the better half whom I have survived quite well with during the long weeks in lockdown. I wasn’t too sure we’d get through cooped up for so long.

I’m called a noise polluter because I apparently talk too loud, particularly when I am on the phone. Given I am working from home I'm on the phone a lot.

A sharp “keep your voice down” has been fairly regular.

And a caveman?

I suppose in years gone by I’ve been a bit primitive at times, nothing unusual in that for a young fella but those days are long gone.

I’m a caveman because I’ve only had the razor out a couple of times over the past month, and I’ve got a bit furry.

I thought the furry, prickly look might not have been an issue inside the bubble, but I was wrong.

"When are you going to have a shave?". "Tomorrow" The following day: "When are you going to have a shave?". "Tomorrow". You get the the jist.

But maybe it’s just that look on me.

So I experimented.

“I hear Chalkie has grown a couple of big mutton chops during the lockdown,” I ventured.

“That would look interesting,” came the reply.

“And I also hear Big Denis is now sporting a goaty beard,” I said.

“That might suit him,” she laughed.

Pushing it, I added “And Macca’s gone the ZZ Top way.” “What’s a ZZ Top?,” she asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” I murmured.

Them the coup de grace.

We were out walking and approaching us was a figure I thought I knew, but there was something not quite the same.

As he got closer, I realised it was Bevan, who was sporting a lockdown beard.

“I didn’t recognise ya,” I laughed as we got closer.

We got talking and I introduced him to the better half.

“He seems a nice guy,” my better half later said.

“Yeah, he’s a really good guy," I replied, adding quietly: “He looks like a bit of a caveman, though.”

No response.

I'll remember to be a bit louder next time.









Local trusted journalism matters - now more than ever

As the Covid-19 pandemic brings the world into uncharted waters, Star Media journalists and photographers continue to report local stories that matter everyday - yours.

For more than 152 years our journalists have provided Cantabrians with local news that can be trusted. It’s more important now than ever to keep Cantabrians connected.

As our advertising has fallen during the pandemic, support from you our reader is crucial.

You can help us continue to provide local news you can trust simply by becoming a supporter.

Become a Supporter