Roy Colbert

What would our fathers have talked about?

There was a trick displayed on a recent episode of Boardwalk Empire where a prohibition gangster whanged a sharp knife on to a table between his outstretched fingers at extremely high speed.

The skilled art of the faux linguist

To say I was skilled in languages at high school would be semantic skewering of the most scurrilous kind. Rather I was monstrously unskilled at everything else, and languages were all that was left.

Chewing the fat about cravings

There are more grains of sand on Middle Beach than there are times I have spent in inner city cafés listening to pregnant women droning on about food cravings.

Cottage organ, $10; memories it made, priceless

The cottage organ has left the building.

Give this man a medal

Medals. Everywhere I look, I see medals.

Talking to strangers

The Beau Brummels released a great single in 1965 called Don't Talk To Strangers.

On the buses: a magical mystery tour complete with music

Any takers? The author is forming a plan

On the buses: a magical mystery tour complete with music

I've met plenty of train fanatics in my time, but bus fanatics seem to be much thinner on the ground.

With good earbuds feeding the brain nothing matters

There's an awful lot of jumbomumbo out there about headphones and earbuds.

As a performer I am petty but no heartbreaker

I am congenitally unable to perform musically in front of people.

I see clearly now the pain has gone

The die area has finally finished. I think.

Old dog has Pavlov response to new trick with treats

For the bulk of my life, certainly since the tongue started to talk, I have been well off the pace when it comes to new things.

Hold my halo and pass the pav

The phone call came during Coronation Street. I depressed the Pause button on MySky and wondered what manner of human could possibly ring at such a sacrosanct time.

Methods of madness in gogglebox accumulation

Kim Hill interviewed someone on Saturday Morning recently who mentioned they possessed a second television set.

Oxos stir the pot to see what floats to the top

Oxos stir the pot to see what floats to the top

Dunedin has developed a diverse base of musical talent in recent years, and veteran local musicians Doug Wright, Craig Reeves and Marcel Rodeka are determined to develop opportunities for many of them to show their skills.

Pineapple lumps and a compelling purity

Every Saturday morning, as if to remind me of my increasing age and armchair inertia, hordes of tiny soccer players with limitless energy scamper all over the Oval across the road from our house.

Red telephone boxes - super, man

For crime or crime-fighting? The old red wooden telephone box was nearly a life-defining fork in...

Red telephone boxes - super, man

We were at The Duke. A Film New Zealand quango, plates of food, my drink was free, some brief speeches.

Sitting in the sun must be doing some good

Place in the sun ... with books atop the "Deaker". Photo by Roy Colbert.

Sitting in the sun must be doing some good

The word is that August and September will be awful.

No monkey business when I played my Edison

Bill Direen was one of the true geniuses in Flying Nun's formative years.

No half measures in taking up a bargain service with trousers

It was the lettering on the window that did me in.

Eccles, eggs and Ken on the make

"Chives!" Coronation Street's recidivist adulterer, the wretched Ken Barlow, is quaffing a forkful from Martha, the floozie he found on a barge in the canal while walking Eccles. Credit Ken with having a dog called Eccles, but credit him morally with nothing else - he is back in the sleaze saddle, spurs clicking hungrily.

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Roy Colbert